Former Drug Addict Explains How to Completely Turn Your Life Around | Dan Martell

Hey everyone, Dr. Josh Axe here. Welcome to the show. Hey, this week we have a great guest on, Dan Martell. He is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author. He's a serial entrepreneur, an investor, and a coach, and he's helped thousands of people reach their highest level of success in business. And we're going to talk about a lot of things today. We're going to talk about how to build great relationships. We're going to talk about how to overcome limiting beliefs. We're also going to get into how to get through mental roadblocks.. And also, if you're in a place where you just feel stuck in life, we're going to really get into how you can break free on today's podcast. And one of the things that's so unique about Dan is that he had some really, really trying, uh, personal struggles in his youth, including addictions and a criminal record. And Dan was able to turn his life around and become an advocate for mental health and addiction recovery. And then he took that and has helped thousands of people grow in life and a lot of entrepreneurs as well. He's had some really successful TEDx events and was part of the Fortune Leadership Summit there as well. And we've got a lot of mutual friends we were talking about here from Michael Hyatt to Vanessa Van Edwards and many others here. So we're going to dive into all things personal growth and health related on the show.

Dan, welcome. Dr. Josh, this is an honor. I appreciate you having me. As you know, I've seen the caliber of guests you've had in the past and I'm, I'm honored. I'm, and I'm also gonna, I'm gonna call my shot. I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to make this one of the best episodes you've ever done. I know it's a big bar to try to hurdle, but, um, let's see what we can do.

Let's go. Yeah, we'll see if we can do it. Well, one of the things I wanted to start off with is hear a little bit about your story. And I think that there are so many people in life, and I think we've all been through this. I've been through it, obviously you have, and that's why I'm going to ask you this question, but You know, you got yourself, you know, early in life. I'd love to hear a little bit about sort of the situation you were in and how you were to break through and go from this sort of, you know, in a really, really trying place in your life to somewhere now where before we were talking, you were telling me, you know, you've been blessed to have the opportunity to, you know, take a private jet somewhere. And also, I know at the same time you're doing something really altruistic and raising money for a charity. So tell me a little bit about how you went from where you were to where you are now.

Yeah, it's kind of funny because I was just talking to my dad on the drive back. I just got back from an executive offsite for one of my companies and he was asking me, because I have my own jet and being in Canada where I live, it's really allowed me to travel around, speak, do in-person podcasts. And he was laughing. He goes like, did you ever believe that where you came from that this would be your life. And, and, and the truth is, I didn't. I mean, you know, we had— I grew up second oldest of four. My dad was in sales, so he was, he was gone quite a bit, you know, trying to provide for the family. And my mom struggled with alcoholism. And, you know, she'd grown up in an, in a home with two alcoholic parents. She was adopted. So there was just a lot of emotional trauma for her that kind of propagated into our family. And I As a kid, I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 11. And, you know, for a long time as a young, young person into my teens, I just thought that I was broken, that there was something wrong with the way my mind worked, that I had an anger issue, that I was not somebody who did well in school. And I just, I built all these negative beliefs of who I was. And what happened is I ended up getting introduced to drugs at a fairly young age at 13. And, I have a very addictive personality. It's why I don't gamble today. I don't do drugs. I've been sober for a long time, but that period really brought me down into a very dark place into my late teens to a place where I found myself drunk and high in a stolen car with a handgun sitting next to me because I had already been to juvenile detention prior. And when I got in trouble with the police and I went on the run and I stole the car, I essentially said, if they stop me again, I'm going to pull the gun and let them take my life. And I ended up driving on the highway, take a routine exit to get some gas. And there's a roadblock there checking driver's license insurance. And I ended up running right through it and trying to get away, trying to make my way to the woods. I don't know what I was thinking. And honestly, I don't remember a whole lot of the situation because I was quite intoxicated, but, um, I ended up coming around a corner and saw an open garage door. And as I pulled into the driveway to get into the garage, I was carrying way too much. I ended up smashing into the side of the house. And in that moment, I went for the gun and I could hear the cops coming up and the gun got stuck between the armrest and the bag it was in. And, and I kept pulling on it and pulling on it. And before I knew it, the door opened and the cops grabbed me. And essentially my feet didn't even touch the ground. They just, they kind of frisked me and threw me in the back of the cop car. And I woke up sober the next morning wondering what my life was going to look like. And I was 16, 17 at the time. And through a series of honestly miracles, like I just can't even explain it. I had some really caring adults show up in my life. And my friend Josh says this today, he goes, uh, He says that, "I think every troubled youth is one caring adult away from being a success story." And that was true for my journey. I had a guard named Brian pull me aside and tell me I didn't belong in prison and tell me that, you know, he'd been working there for a decade and he's seen a bunch of kids come and go. And he goes, "Hey, I can't understand what you're doing here." And he poured into me a belief that I definitely didn't have about myself. You know, when we talk about mental, mental challenges and addiction, it's like I needed some people to, to, to, to be some guides. And that's what happened. I ended up getting out, doing 11 months in a rehab center and working on the relationships that I had burnt up to that point with my family and the trust that I had lost. And in just my own personal story, the meaning that I'd given for who I was and what I was about. I mean, I had zero self-esteem. Like, I didn't even feel worthy of breathing the air I was breathing. And it was at the end of that program where I kind of built that confidence and built that self-belief that I found— I was helping Rick, one of the, the maintenance guys, clean out this old camp because it was— or this old cabin was built on an old church camp. And in one of the rooms, there was this old 486 computer with a yellow book sitting next to it on Java programming, the programming language. And I just— something spoke to me, and I opened up the book and booted up the computer, and 20 minutes later, I got the computer to say, "Hello world." And I thought, this is interesting. And it just, there was something that spoke to me about writing code. And that's how I got into becoming a technology entrepreneur and got out of, this is 1997. And since then I've built and exited 3 software companies. I've invested in over 150. I became a multimillionaire at 28. I have a $100 million holdco where we buy software companies. I run the largest software CEO coaching group in the world, over 1,000 clients. And I just believe that somebody was looking out for me.

Wow. So one of the things you said, and I think this is so important for, for, for— I think everybody is in this situation where we have this negative self-talk and, and, and people don't, um, have a good perception of who they are. How did you— you know, you mentioned the guard, right? That, that he's one of those— the first people that pulled you aside and said, hey, you're not supposed to be here, right? And you said that you know, your confidence was rock bottom. How did you go from that place of, you know, not just the guard— I'm assuming there were other people— but you went from this place of not having, knowing your true identity, thinking that you were maybe worthless, you weren't worthy, to, to, to where you are now?

So that's a great question. Um, you know, it was— it's been 26 years, right? I'm 43 now, and You know, there's, it's hard to even remember kind of, you know, really how I felt about it. I mean, there was a part that just, that definitely clicked, right? When Brian and the guard shared that with me, the micro belief that I gave myself permission to accept was, well, he knows best. He's been here for a decade.

Yeah.

He had no reason to tell me. Like he actually— where he brought me in the guard unit to tell me this, he could have gotten trouble because no inmates were allowed there. And I think what happened with that seed of possibility was just this journey that I was at least open to go on. And then when I went to Portage, this, this therapeutic community, um, I got just blessed with this incredible, essentially personal development program. You gotta understand, like, every cleanup we shared our personal story. Either we listened or we shared with another resident. Um, we did feeling management groups, like literally talked about our feelings. We understood all the different types of feelings, right? Most people ask them, how do you feel?

Angry?

Sad? Like, those— there's, there's, there's actually a wide range of feelings. So learn to identify where those feelings showed up in our body, right? We understood the meaning we associated to circumstances. We learned to deal with when we became emotionally flooded, right? What people would call angry, and, and our basic values and what, what creates our confidence. So there was a lot of things. I think what was unique about this place is they had a philosophy of, you know, we have to raise our standard above what is the norm. And the reason why is their belief is if we raise the standard of all the residents above the norm, then when they get out and the norm drops, then they'll, they'll kind of meet everybody where they're at. So for example, we had to do hospital corners on our bed. We have to clean up our toiletry bags and make sure that they were like, like army-level, next-level clean. We had to, you know, uh, we did all the cleanups after all the, the meals. We, you know, everything was checked rigorously. Um, if any of the residents— and this is what was a beautiful thing— is the way they designed the program is there's different levels of peer groups, right? New member, you know, team leaders, and then older members, and then chiefs. And like, as you progress through that process, you were learning leadership skills. So for me, I think it was like being in this environment of 24/7 personal development, not knowing that's what it was called at all. Like, I didn't even really get introduced to personal development for a few years after I got out of there. But in hindsight, I always laughed when I got into the business world because in circumstances where I would see people overreact, right? And I would just sit back and just kind of like inside, just look at them and wonder because I understood why they were doing it because I had almost thousands of hours of therapy and challenge. And I also believe that the further down you've gone, the higher you can go, right? Because I had gone from such a tough place of being, you know, not even like rock bottom, like in a pit. Not— I, I had been to prison twice by the time I was 17. Like, the chances of me being alive, let alone staying sober, is— it's microscopic. I mean, unfortunately, a lot of the kids that I grew up with, they didn't make it. So I think I just learned to have faith, you know? And when I say faith, it's have people in your life that have accomplished things that you admire. And listen to them and, and follow their counsel. And, and even if you have no proof, like that— I remember there's one, one, um, one of the, uh, the staff at the, the portage, Mark Pence, he would— he does always say, it's like, you have to have blind faith because there's no proof. Like, I can't prove to you right now that if you follow this process, it'll work for you. You just have to have faith to do that. And I think too often in business, in life, like people don't give the strategy the time, right? They expect it to work the first time they do. They go to the gym, they're like, I expect to be fit right now. It's like, no, that's not how it works. You have to have faith that if you show up every day and you're consistent, that good things will happen. And I don't know where that came from. I just, I feel honestly really blessed and lucky that that was how my mind responded to that information. But that's definitely what it was. It's just at the— in the beginning was finding a positive pattern to deal with my emotions and have faith in the process. And over the years, just continue to do the work. Like, I'm a work in progress. I wake up every day to try to be better than the version of me yesterday. But as a kid, it was these, these key elements around, you know, just personal self-worth. I needed that to feel worthy of receiving any support. And then once I got the support, it's like create an environment of peers and people around me. So when I got, you know, out into the real world, I had to change my friend group and really remove toxic conversation, toxic energy, toxic environments out of my life. And then it was continuing to find something I was passionate about. For me, writing code and software and allowing myself to become obsessed. Like, that, that was actually a big realization looking back, was I gave myself permission to become obsessed around a positive activity.. And I think, you know, that's, that's been proven to be true over the years. Just once I find something I love to do, like, you know, running or triathlons, Ironmans, you know, go all in. You know, these, there, there could be worse things I do with my time.

Yeah. I mean, there, there, there's, there, there's a lot to take away from, from the story you told. And I have about 4 or 5 questions on top of all of this. You know, one of those things that really struck me though is, well, I, I wanna call this out and make a point, and then I wanna ask you the next question. One is there's this quote by J.R.R. Tolkien, the, author of Lord of the Rings, and he says, "The praise of the praiseworthy is above all rewards." And it's one of the greatest things you can do to build your identity. And to me, when you had that prison guard tell you, "You're not supposed to be in there," and you said something, you said, "Well, he knows." Like, if anybody's going to know who should and shouldn't be in prison, he's seen all these people. He knows. And I think, you know, when you're— when we're able to get around, um, the right people, people of high character, people that are virtuous, people that have maybe done or had some level of success in life, and they say something to us like you're not supposed to be here, or you're more than that, or you're capable of this, it can just create such, such a shift in their life. And so I think for anyone that is listening to this, I think being able to find those right mentors and coaches and those people in your life who are willing to speak that into you, that's worth as much as anything I can imagine. I know one of the greatest things that has helped me grow is, is proactively going and finding the right mentors, allowing them to speak in my life, and receiving what they say and taking action on it. So that was a, a big thing. And another thing that really struck me about your story was, um, this idea around standards. And one of the questions I have— and by the way, there's some great, uh, Harvard studies on it— it's literally maybe one of the single, if not the single most important thing to help somebody achieve a higher level in their life is to help them raise their own standards. So, you know, you think about college football, that's what college football coaches are doing all day, is like, no, the standard is actually here, you got to keep getting higher. As you've been able to coach and lead a lot of entrepreneurs and a lot of people in their businesses and in their life. How much, how, how much of those life lessons, like raising standards, has it played a role in you actually coaching people? And is that something you continually do as a coach, is help people raise their own standards?

Yeah, it's, it's a beautiful question, um, because I really think we don't get the goals we desire, we get the standards that we show up as. Because when I look back at, and this is something I coach my clients in regards to like my achievement roadmap system, you know, people have these big aspirations for their life and it could be, you know, you know, just, it could be simple. It could be like, I want to get a better job. Right. But what I've discovered is the, you know, if it's a financial goal or a health goal, for example, like if I, you know, last, last year I was, I was training for an, um, a 50K ultra. Um, I knew the standard for my performance was the daily and weekly volume that I put in running, right? And just following the protocol that my coach put together. And I knew that if I followed the standard of running X amount of, you know, miles every day, that over a certain period of time that would build the kind of the VO2, uh, required the health, the fitness to be able to run that ultra marathon? And like, I think that's an interesting question. It's one that I work with my clients because my goal setting process is, is yes, you know, be specific, right? I believe that if we have 100% clarity, 100% belief, and 100% of the time have that belief, then that's how we pull outcomes or achievements into our lives today. But it's also asking ourselves, okay, whatever that goal is, if it's to be in a rich relationship with a partner or, you know, the fitness or the, the wealth side, what level of daily standard am I willing to hold myself to, right? What is that activity that if I follow the standard, that, that will make the outcome inevitable? And that, and those are some of my favorite conversations to have with coaching clients because it makes it almost gamified. It makes it very clear. They, they can see that if I, you know, if I prospect 5 new clients a day, like if I send 5 messages to all my followers on Instagram, for example, that out of those 5, 35 a week minimum, that it'll produce pipeline, it'll produce marketing, it'll produce an outcome. And we hold that standard. And I think that's, that's such a big idea of just trying to break down our goals into the standards that we will hold. I mean, it's kind of like finding a partner. It's like, what's the standard? Well, I'm, I'm going to introduce myself to 3 new people every day. That's the standard. So you, you have a standard of, say, I'm gonna go way outside my comfort zone. I'm gonna introduce myself to 3 people in any lineup I might find myself in that day at the coffee shop, at the bank, at the grocery store. And through that process, I trust that the rest of it will come to fruition. I think it's a, it's a beautiful concept, especially if it's targeted towards a clear outcome.

Yeah, yeah. I think there is a lot of emphasis on goal setting today and maybe not enough on the strategic planning and the systems and the standards, as you're saying. And I think this is so, so important. You know, I think we're living in a society today that I think has and, and you've seen this too, where it's like, it's, it's part, part of the mentality is everybody gets a trophy, right? It's just, hey, it's this sort of, um, well, if somebody doesn't win, win, or if somebody loses, we don't want them to feel bad, so everybody does. I think that's sort of this sort of, uh, softening of society that has, um, you know, it's making me think, you know, whenever I'm on, I'm on Instagram, and so I grew— I'm about your age, I'm 40, 42, and growing up in the '90s, it was a little bit— and listen, I'm not picking on Gen Z. Well, I am. I am picking a little bit on Gen Z here. But all that being said, I watched this video recently that was basically like if you were a baby boomer and somebody bumped into you, it was like nothing happened. Gen X was a little bit like, hey, what are you doing? And then millennial Gen Z was sort of like falling down like this victim mentality, right? Yeah.

Like those soccer players.

Yes, there's a great example, which is some now translate in the NBA and then flop in there too now. So, but all that being said, you know, I, I think that maybe that's one of the reasons why I think we don't talk. I, I think actually when I look back at some of the, uh, leadership literature and some of the things around the ideas about what leadership is and growth, I, I think that people used to actually talk about standards more, and I don't think they talk about it enough today. Now you might see guys like Joko or David Goggins, I see them maybe talking about it a little bit, but it's just, it's less than they used to. All that being said, I think it's just such an important point that if you really want somebody to be their best, you have to call them higher. I think even with kids today, some people will tell them, you're perfect just the way you are. You're not. You're not perfect the way you are. You can be so much more than you are now, right? And so I love that idea behind these standards and calling people to, to, to higher standards. Did you have somebody in your life who did that where, where they said to you, not, not only, you know, the prison guard saying, hey, Dan, you're not supposed to be here, but other people say to you along your path, hey, you're more than this and you're capable. Yeah.

I mean, like right now, I work with Ed Mylett, who's one of the top podcasts. I mean, he's an incredible human being. I mean, like, I always hire people that have accomplished certain things that I admire. And when I was kind of getting into this new phase of producing content media, I mean, Ed's, you know, millions, tens of millions of followers on social media, one of the top podcasts. And if you want to talk about somebody that, you know, he wrote the book The Power of One More, and, and really holding a higher standard. And the cool part is, I think when we hold the standard for ourselves, it almost, it removes the veil of what we accept in our own lives from other people, right? So if you set a standard of, hey, I feed my body lean, mean protein, greens, that kind of stuff, and you're out at dinner and you've been consistent in your meal plan and your nutrition, all these things, and then somebody orders, you know, nachos or, or, you know, pizza whatever, like you start to see that around you. It's almost like you start to see, you know, where people are accepting themselves to live a lower standard. And I just, I love being around people that increase my internal identity. People like Ed, you know, I'm speaking on Tony Robbins' stage in January at Business Mastery. I've got just this incredible, I just got back from, you know, a mastermind with, you mentioned Michael Hyatt and, you know, Jenna Kutcher and just these incredible, You know, authors and, and just being around them and asking myself like, how do I raise, you know, I've sold hundreds of thousands of copies of my book. I'm in a room with Jay Papasan who sold millions of copies of his book, Dr. Ben Hardy, same thing. It's like, I think it's, it's interesting because oftentimes we're a product of our environment and our environment, we can artificially sometimes think like we're doing well. And I always say like, when you think you're doing well, you should just, you know, find another street, find another city, find another another room. Like, I, I, every year my wife and I, we always pick like a seminar we're gonna go do for our couples. As a couple, we always decide on like, how do we stretch ourselves, right? I'm— the way I learn is, is yes, I read every day, I go to seminars, etc., but I'm— I work through osmosis and proximity of people. And that's why— and again, I learned this growing up when I was hanging around with the crowd of people that were into drugs and getting in trouble with the law and fighting all the time. Why was I surprised to find out that I was doing those things? And as soon as I got sober and I deliberately designed— I mean, that was one of the most powerful exercises when I was in, in rehab, was, you know, building what's called a transition plan and being deliberate. Like, where are you going to go find these positive examples and peers? And having to share that with people and have them test your logic. So now, to me, it's just part of who I, who I am and who I've been. And 100%, that's the reason for, like, the success I've had. So I think, I think that is, is a big part of it. And I think to your point on, you know, the, the, the nerfing of the, the world that we live in, and, you know, that whole, you know, hard times produce strong men and strong men produce easy times and easy times produce weak men and weak men's produce, you know, hard times and it continues the cycle. And I just choose to continue to Elevate my game and surround myself with other people that hold me like Ed to a higher standard. He doesn't even have to say anything. That's a beautiful part. He just has to continue shining his light. And I want to, you know, honor him spending that time with me, mentoring me and coaching me so that when I show up for those calls, like his standard, without him having to say a word, pulls me forward, pushes me to become more. And I think that's, that's a great place. We can all live there. All of us can shine our light. And not, you know, have to criticize anybody, but just through our example, we're pulling everybody's standard that's in our proximity forward.

Yeah, it's so good. You know, there's a, it reminds me of this quote by Saint Francis of Assisi, and he said, you know, preach the gospel, use words only when necessary. You know, and this thing of, yeah. And you know, it reminds me of, and someone who I think of like this is a guy, you know, like Tim Tebow. It's like, he's a person who really high character. We talked about Ed Myletz, but when you're around those people, they don't, You know, the high-character people, they don't, they don't need to preach to you, right? They just, by their actions, by their just mentality about certain things, it just starts to rub off on you. And I think that's something that maybe a lot of people don't understand. I see a lot of people today on social media, could be, you know, in relation to a war or what's going on in politics or a number of things. And everybody's online pointing fingers and judging everybody versus realizing that doesn't that won't create change. What will create change is changing yourself, right? Everybody wants the world to change. They don't want to change themselves. And so I think that's the thing, and one of the lessons, uh, there that I just, it just picked up from you there. And I think Ed's so good at this, is like, man, if you're growing, if you're changing, you know, I remember at a time in my life where I really was experiencing a lot of growth, and I kind of did something you did earlier where you said, I, I moved on to different friend groups. I left that group behind. And I had somebody come up to me, they said, you're different. And I said, yeah, I am.

And to me, it was the greatest compliment I'd ever received.

I've had a couple people tell me that different phases of my life when I was growing a lot, like, you're different. And by the way, it actually wasn't a— from one of them, it was a compliment. The other was like, it was like supposed to be a dig. But I took it as a great compliment because it's, um, you know, it's something that I think that you and I both desire to have people say, hey, you changed. And, you know, one other thing, and shifting gears a little bit, when we were about to start interviewing, one of the things that you had shared with me about— you went to, you know, you're in the middle of— it seems to me like the middle of nowhere Canada, but you're in the middle of, we'll say, the middle of somewhere Canada. And, you know, you were in, you know, I think, you know, Denver and Charlotte, like North Carolina. And then you're telling me about all these places you'd gone in such a short period of time and a little bit about your schedule. And I thought, wow, if somebody is going to be doing what you're doing, they've got to be good with their time. And so talk to me a little bit about everybody who's, who's watching and listening here. How do we become samurais and, and, and really maximize our time?

Well, I love the question cuz that's, that's why I wrote this book. Buy Back Your Time is, I, I, people ask me, why'd you write the book? I wrote the book to buy back my time because when people hear the way I, you know, run companies and speak on stages and, you know, build my media company. They all want to know like, how do you do it all? So the book is actually the playbook, but let me share a few things. One, I'm always looking for leverage. Okay? So time is a constant, it's multiplied times leverage, and that equals output. And output is different for different people based on how well they can, they can understand leverage. And there's only 4 ways to create leverage. I call 'em the 4 C's. There's content, which is creating a playbook, a systems, a process. This This, this podcast is content, right? Whether 10 million people see it or 10,000 people see it, there's no extra cost. So huge leverage. Second one is code, which is software automation. And I would say today, AI. Third is capital, right? The, the, the ability to leverage money to produce more. Um, you know, mortgages would be an example in real estate, et cetera. And then I would say the fourth is collaboration. How do we play with other people? Are you somebody that can partner properly? Can you hire great people? Can you show up as a leader and lead a team? Right? And that's collaboration. So when I think of my calendar, I'm always looking through two lenses. One, um, is this activity high leverage? And two, is it something that lights me up or does it suck my energy? Right? Does it give me energy or does it take my energy? Because what I've learned over the years is the more I can honor my preferences, I can give myself permission. Okay? Only if I've earned it though. I can't, if I'm starting off in business and I don't have any income, I can't say, well, I'm only gonna do stuff that I love to do. No, that's not how it works. You You gotta earn it. But I know a lot of entrepreneurs that have gotten to this place where they inadvertently build businesses they grow to hate. And that's what I'm trying to help people overcome. So my calendar is very much, you know, and probably 3 times a year I go through the process I teach in my book to audit my calendar, transfer the things off my plate that are no longer green, things that are yellow. I mean, I just hired a CEO to run one of my companies and for 7 years it was an awesome experience being the CEO of the company. I now no longer have to be CEO cuz running the the rhythms of that business is not what lights me up. Producing content right now is a huge part of my life. I, I just, uh, built out a whole media company 3 months ago. We've got a dozen people working in that already. And I just look at my calendar through that lens of like, is this high leverage? Is it using Dan's unique ability, his zone of genius? And does it, um, does it light me up? And I think that's what's unique about my calendar. But I also, I have everything in there. So when I plan my week, I have this framework called The Perfect Week. I put all the ingredients that, you know, that would light me up. So, so things like working out every day. So I call it sweat every day. I work out every day. There's no days off. I don't need to take a day off. If, if yoga's my rest day, that's what it is. If it's a, if it's a hike with my kids, that's my, you know, that, that could be a recovery day. I put, you know, date nights, my, like tonight's my wife's night off. Tomorrow night's my, my night off. So I have time to go and schedule time with my friends. We do date night every Thursday. My process is very much, if today was my last day, I would have zero regrets. If I had to take my last breath at 5 o'clock today, I know that I've lived with intentionality. I didn't waste any second. And I got that gift as a 17-year-old. And that's, and I know that for a fact, like a lot of people meet me today and they go, what drives you? For me, it's very simple. Every day I wake up to become the person that God created me in his image, and I share that person with the world.. And if that world is my family, my kids, my community, my church, my CrossFit gym, my social media, my teams, that's my world. But every day I wake up to be incredibly intentional about the work I do, the conversations I have, who I collaborate with, all in the purpose of becoming the person that, that I believe I was, I was here to become. And while I do that as much as I can, I give all of that to the world and I want to die empty. That's, that's my whole philosophy is that like when I'm, when it, when it is my time to go, I feel that I've shown up. I was a good steward of the resources I've been given, and, and I left it all out on the field.

Hey, what do you, what do you think is the biggest reason why? Because I think there's probably a good amount of people who feel this way, that they're, they're not leaving it out all in the field. Why do you think that there are a lot of people who, um, who, who are, you know, keeping so— holding so much back?

Yeah, this is what I coach most of my clients on, because I coach— I mean, my private stuff, I coach, you know, 9-figure entrepreneurs and— in my, my entrepreneurial program, the back end of my book, I work with a lot of like, you know, $200,000 a year type entrepreneur freelancers. And it, it, they're, it's always the same thing, just at different scale, right? And it's one of the three fears. So there's only three fears in the world. There's a fear of judgment, the fear of failure, and the fear of success. And sometimes it can be all of them at once. So people that know they have more to give, right, many of them will, will start with the fear of judgment. It's like, well, I want to post more on social media. I want to share my journey. I know I have something to give because when friends ask me for advice and I give it to them, they always say, wow, that's so good. But there's a fear that if I post something online, what is— what are my team members going to say about that? What are my clients going to say about that? What are my high school friends going to say about that? And I just, I just don't want to deal with that venom, right? So there's this fear of judgment. Or if they make a— they call their shot, right? They say, I'm going— you know, a lot of people, and they're like, I want to get fit. You know, they don't tell anybody because they don't want anybody to call them out on it if they don't work out. That's the fear of failure of like, you know, what if I publicly claim that I'm going to get in the best shape of my life and then I don't, and then I got to walk around in that shame? That scares people from from doing the things that they know would hold them accountable and put them in a pos— in the best position to win. The fear of success is actually the one that's fascinating to me because I think that for a lot of successful people, if, if folks are listening to this podcast, I can only assume a few things, but one of them is that they have a desire to become more. And, and they in their peer group are people that their friends look to, right? Like they're, they want to get better. They have a desire to, to grow and they're on the journey of personal development. Those folks, typically their biggest fear of success, right? They're, they're scared of their power. They're scared of their light. They're scared of the transformation that they could go through. And typically it's because they're scared to have to then hold that new standard, right? Like I remember one time my brother, you know, we both started from nothing. And when I got sober and I finally had success in my mid-20s, he called me up and he's like, okay, I want to learn what you've been doing. How did you do that? And I helped him start a real estate company. And he went from, you know, financially like struggling to, you know, over a 6, 7-year period becoming a multimillionaire. But his vision along that journey was way bigger than that. And as he was climbing that ladder, he just decided to set up camp, right? Because he went from not having anything to lose to actually having stuff to lose, like meaningful, right? And, but he kept watching me continue the journey, continue the journey, continue the journey. And we would have these conversations. And I knew that the biggest thing holding him back was the fear of success. The fear of what would that mean for me to start partnering with other people and raising capital? What would that mean to my calendar? What would that mean to my commitments? You know, like, I like my life, I don't want to disrupt it. But he knew in his heart that he had more to give. And now I never ever coached him 'cause he never asked me to coach him, right? I just kept showing up every day and shining my light as bright as possible. And he, and he saw me in the face of adversity, in the face of setbacks, continue just pushing. Like, nobody that's winning does that without ever having challenges. The only thing I've learned over the years is, guy, I've gotten really good at dealing with, with, you know, it's, it's the world doesn't get easier, you get better. So I've gotten really good at getting better. And eventually he— I remember we had this conversation, he's like, enough's enough. Like, I know I have more to give, I know I can become more, and I have been drifting And I know that happened to me. I had a 2-year period after I sold my first company before I started my next company. I drifted for 2 years. I had made it in all my, my, you know, city's eyes, right? Dan, youngest, wealthiest, all this stuff. And it was like, but I knew I had more and I accepted myself for a 2-year period to not show up and play out. And it doesn't mean working 100 hours a week. That's, that's the crazy part. Once you understand how to create leverage, then the only blocker of you creating anything is your ability to build those master skills, understand how capital works, collaboration, code, and content. And once you understand those 4 master skills, then, and really understand your calendar, which is what started this whole conversation, then we can push forward. Then we can go and overcome our fear of judgment, fear of failure, and fear of success, and really live in our power. And when people get a taste of it, and I, and my gut tells me if they're listening to this, they have. They've had these moments where they felt limitless, powerful. They felt their greatness. And maybe some of them, it scared them because they knew if they showed up every day and they acted from that place, man, their current life would look completely different. And I always say it's the best stuff amplified and the bad stuff removed. That's what— when your friends say that, man, you've changed, you're proud because you're like, good. You know, instead of saying you've changed or you're different, just replace that with you've grown. Right? Because like, that's all I hear. Somebody says, oh, you've changed, Dan. Yeah. So you're saying I've grown?

Perfect.

Because that's the game I'm on, a growth game. I am addicted to growing myself. That is the— it's what I signed up for. It's why I invest the money and the time. And if you're telling me I've grown, thank you for that beautiful compliment. I'm going to keep doing that and I'm going to share with everybody how I've done it. And if it resonates with you, feel free to jump on board. If not, I will be here when you are because I ain't going anywhere.

Yeah, it's so good. I mean, it, it, it may, may surprise some people that you, you, you stated that one of the biggest reasons why people ultimately don't leave it on the field, they don't go for their dreams, they don't write the book, they don't do the career change, they don't do whatever that thing is that's inside them, is because they're afraid of success. It reminds me a little bit, and I think these things are related, like growing up, I, we, we didn't have a lot of money and I had some, uh, you know, relatives that, um, didn't come from much either. And I remember them sometimes having conversations about people that were wealthy and thinking there was something evil about that if somebody had success or like, like they had taken advantage of somebody or used their power. And, and, and I never really felt that way myself, but I remember hearing that a lot. And I think that there's a level there of— I, and by the way, I see this sometimes in certain, not all of them, and of course sometimes it's the opposite. But, you know, there's this sort of thing of anywhere from— I see some churches which is more about this like prosperity gospel and that's the only thing or the main thing. That defines if you're blessed. And there's this other idea that, well, we need to be as poor as possible in order to show how holy we are, or those people that have money are, are somehow evil. My point there is I think there's a similar level of thinking where there is a— it's almost hard to remove, to me, that success and the judgment, those two of the three together, because I think either gonna— I, I see so often where those could really align with one another versus saying, you know what, I'm going to use my money to bless others. And I think about that too. I think about how, again, when we were on this interview, you telling me, hey, you took a private plane. So, if somebody heard that, they might think, again, probably not the people listening to this podcast, but I'm trying to think about some relatives from years ago and like, oh, Dan, he's this guy who's driving a private jet. He probably did something bad in order to get that money versus, Well, you know, he actually just flew out to, uh, and gave his time for free for this fundraiser, but to help children. And so anyways, obviously it can be used for good. So I think so much of this is about perception. You know, that's one, one other question I would have for you is, is how do you help people change their perception of the world? You know, you'd mentioned this earlier, like with, with eating food, you know, and what I see again, the nachos coming out, like my perception of those nachos is— might be radically different than someone else. Like, I'm, like, I'm just sharing from my— knowing what I know, it's like, okay, that's going right into my artery, that's causing inflammation, my liver's sending cholesterol, this is going to happen, I'm not going to feel as well tomorrow, it's going to hurt my work. So all that being said, talk to me about how you help people have a perception shift.

Yeah, I think the— and you brought up so much good stuff. Um, I learned a long time ago that we make, we have the ability, the power, you know, and it's one of the most beautiful concepts if people could really adopt it, is that we decide the meaning that we give to circumstances, right? You talked about, you know, flying on my jet. Some people hear that and it's either gonna irritate them or it's gonna inspire them. And the reason why is because the people that it inspires them, they're on their path, they're on their journey, they're in growth mode. The ones that irritate them are the ones that gave up, that have stopped, that have blamed the world, that continue to watch the news, that feel like they're victims, etc. And I, and I, and I've learned that. So what I do with when I'm coaching clients is I always ask themselves, what beliefs do you have around that outcome, right? And some people be like, well, it's a judgment-based fear, it's a success-based fear. And then we, then we reprogram it. You know, my buddy Mark, he's a professional speaker, an incredible speaker. And he had some money blockers. He had some money mindset issues that were really stopping him from expanding his business. And I remember we were sitting in my sunroom and, and I'm listening to him share, like, you know, like his, his fear around money. 'Cause he grew up in an environment where his parents and his cousins and his uncles used to, to say similar things that you just shared about wealthy people saying that they took advantage of somebody or they must have stole from somebody or they're drug dealers or whatever it is. And I said, but, but you know your intentions. And he goes, yeah. And I said, you haven't connected your actions with a positive intention. He goes, what do you mean? I go, Mark, you're a person of faith. He goes, yeah. I say, what if out of everything you made, you gave 10% to your church? Would you now feel guilty charging an extra $1,000 to your coaching clients? And he's like, no, I'd be excited to. I said, 'Cause you just shifted your meaning, right? So you had a belief, your intention was, if I charge too much, I won't be able to serve people. I'm telling you, charging more to the people that can afford it, not only are they actually gonna get a better experience, 'cause I believe that the transformation happens at the transaction, that then you'll have more resources to support your church and your faith, which is at the end of the day, a big part of his life. And it was almost like as soon as he changed that perception, that perspective, he went out and grew the business. See, most people don't realize that when they want to achieve an outcome, you know, I, And they have beliefs around that outcome that are essentially like driving with the handbrake on. I'll give you a quick example. So I was coaching a woman once and I was asking her, what are your goals for the next year? And she's like, triple the size of my business. Like, perfect.

Where you at?

What do you want to do with that, et cetera? And I said, what about your health? And she goes, well, you know, it's not a really, it's not something I'm proud of, but I put on 30 pounds in the last 2 years. And like, I just don't see a future where I can also get healthier and 3x my business. And I said, well, what would need to be true for you to decide to put your health as a priority? And she said, well, I'd have to be in the hospital, not being able to work. And I'm like, wow, thinking to myself, like, you not only being in a hospital, she literally said, and not be able to work. And I go, this is fascinating, because she didn't realize that she has a belief that her success required her health to take a sacrifice. So she built this outcome that was supposed to be aspirational, inspiring to people that followed her and triple her business and, and give her the resources to achieve stuff. But she also had the same belief that in doing so, she would become unhealthy. That is not a, a vision that will pull you forward. That is one actually that is, is, is plagued with self-sabotaging decisions along the way because you inadvertently are, are, don't want to achieve that outcome because you know it's going to require you to sacrifice your health. And it wasn't true. It was just a perspective or belief that she had that was based on past history. And your past history is not a predictor of your future. And once I unpacked that for her, it shifted everything. And she's like, oh, because I believe in belt buckles and bank accounts. I believe your belt buckle shouldn't go up and your bank, bank account shouldn't go down. My belief. And I said, let me sell you on that perspective, that point of view. And all of a sudden she got it. Well, now when she wakes up and she's got the energy, 'cause you know that she's got more, she's not eating the stuff that was causing her to be outta shape. She's now working, you know, what I call exhaust the body to tame the mind. So she has more mental capacity, she has more energy. It turned out that reprogramming that perspective is gonna make her, and she's already on pace to triple her business this year and be in the best shape of her life. And that to me is always a fascinating conversation with people. Is, what do you believe to be true about this success, right? Or another question I like to ask people is, what scares you most about your greatness? And in that is the opportunity for us to work through the perspectives and points of view that have to be shifted and shaped to allow you to make it effortless. Like, the only reason things are hard in people's lives is because of the meaning they've given to those activities. It can either feel effortless or it can feel really heavy, and that is a decision that we get to control.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there are so many people today who— and, and some of them not, not realizing it, as your example with that woman, to where, um, they're not even— they've totally sabotaged themselves without even trying. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it happens constantly that we have these narratives or these stories we tell ourselves. It tends to happen with, uh, like, like for you, like when you were a kid, you know, you're, you know, at some point— and same for me, uh, you know, we were a kid and someone said something to us, a parent or coach, or there was an event in life that happened and we're still living with that sort of childhood trauma today that we've never broken free from. I want to jump back into the time management idea. I'd love to get really practical here. What are some things that you do when it comes to maximizing your time?

So many. Um, it's funny because it's just become like kind of who I am that I don't think it's abnormal. So let me, let me just share you kind of what my day looks like. So, A, I get up fairly early. I mean, I don't, I don't think everybody has to get up as early as I do. I get up at 4 o'clock most days, you know, and I, and I go to bed at So people are like, what time do you go to bed? I go to bed fairly early. Okay. I put the kids to bed. I then spend time with my wife and I pass out 9, 9:30, that kind of thing. Mornings are very deliberate. I like to create connected to my creator. So I'm always sitting down, I'm journaling, I'm creating frameworks, I'm thinking strategy, I'm writing. So my morning time, usually the first 2 hours, is to create connected to my creator because a big part of my, my process for, for producing, right? Um, then, you know, the kids wake up, I usually work out. So I always, you know, exhaust the body to tame my mind. That's daily habits and non-negotiable. It's a standard. It's, it's just the, the everything else can get pushed back, but that doesn't not get done. Um, and then I usually leave my mornings for my own project. So I don't do my first meeting till about 11 o'clock in the morning. And I've kind of looked at my life through the lens of anything that doesn't support my dreams or allows me to spend more time with the people I love, like I just don't do it. So in our home, we have a house manager, Betty. She is the CEO of Family Martell. She, when I say she's the CEO of all things our family, it's the most, it's like down to the granular level. It's not just like, does she, you know, does she, is she a chef? It's like she manages the chef. You know, is she a house cleaner? Sarah cleans the house. She manages that. She manages vehicles, all my real estate. She allows Renee and I and the boys— now this is a privileged place to get to, but I share with people because I have a lot of clients that have the means to have support in their home and never give themselves permission. So when we talk about productivity, that is a huge way that I am able to move from meeting to meeting to meeting. Like, as I was sitting here and I've done my meetings, like, she brought me my lunch, she got me some coffee, she, you know, like, I'm, I'm able to call on her to, hey, reach out to this person, let them know that I'm going to be here at this time. So when I show up, we can move right into the thing. Because I don't— when I'm working, I mean, there's a reason why I fly private is to buy back my time. So I'm not gonna like buy back my time to then be inefficient in other things. So I very much am always trying to have my calendar reflect my goals, and, and my meetings are back to back to back. That's where I work with my executive assistant, and she's incredible. She literally proactively— I mean, she scheduled this meeting or podcast. She knows my priorities, my project. She checks in on me. How you doing, Dan? How's the energy? Was that too much today? Do you want me to reschedule some stuff. And, and the big thing is, is like, I honor my calendar. I think a lot of people, you know, they, they get, they get inspired and say, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put stuff in my calendar. Like, when I, when I wake up, I already know what I'm doing in that morning because I've already planned it. You know, Sunday I plan the week, night before is planned for the morning, the rest of the day. Whenever I meet my assistant, like right after this meeting, I have my, my daily assistant. Again, all this stuff I share in my book, Buy Back Your Time. Like, it's chapter 5 of my book. And then, um, we look on Mondays like today, we do a 6-week scan. Here's my calendar for next 6 weeks. Uh, the rest of the week we do a 2-week scan just to kind of reset anything that has to be done. Um, I hydrate, so I'm always drinking 3 liters of water every day. I don't— I have all my nutrition macro-based based on my, my fitness goals. So that's a decision I don't make anymore because of my ADHD. I actually have a timer on my desk, and when I'm doing creative work, I have to use a timer. I listen to um, uh, EDM music with no vocals for when I'm creating. So I had to create my environment to support the way I work, right? And I'll even, I'll even schedule meetings with other people to get work done that I don't wanna do. So if I have to do like a financial, you know, year-end review of things, I'm, I'm scheduling the meeting with other people cuz if they don't show up, I know myself, I just won't want to do it. It's like the worst thing for me anyway. I could talk on podcasts all day long. I love, I love to share. But yeah, so I would say it's energy management over time management. It's, I use my schedule and I allocate it. I always stress test the calendar and make sure that it's got all the things, the personal, the family, the health, the mindset, the wellness side. And I do it not only for the week, but I do it for the year. So this, we're going away in 2 weeks, my wife and I, we do quarterly retreats. And the last one of the year, the December one is to plan next year. And we'll sit down and we'll grab everything. That we have on our list of desires and trips and invitations and try to figure out how we fit it all together. And we look back at this year and evaluate it. So I'm a big fan on feedback and like asking myself, that feels good. And then also, what, what is— what speaks to my heart? You know, I check in with, with God and I say, hey, you know, like, what do you, what do you want me to do? Like, talk to me, let's, let's figure this out. And I just— the one thing I don't do that I think a lot of people struggle with is I don't, I don't really procrastinate anymore. If something's important, it has to get done, it's in the calendar, and I honor the calendar. But I also a lot of people I'm accountable to, so it's hard for me to hide. Whereas I think some people, whether they work today or not, they can hide. They can clear their schedule and go watch the latest season of whatever their favorite show is on Disney Plus, and nobody's going to call them on it. And I think some people just need to get a little bit busier, and I think they'll be a little bit happier.

Yeah. Yeah. I think there's something sort of this— it's a cycle, right? Is, you know, doing, doing things that are productive feeds doing more things that are productive.

And that's, it's a good way to put it.

It's good. You know, I, you mentioned Ed Mylett earlier. I'm curious, what is, what is the biggest thing you've learned from him and spending some time with him?

There's, there's been so much, but you know what, it's, it's not always necessarily— well, I'll tell you a few things. Um, one, he's very intentional about the people, so like I I am very much so, right? I, I, every year I look at my goals and I ask myself, who are the people that can help support it? But he is so even more at a deeper level. Um, two things that he's world-class at when he communicates, okay? And he shared this once with me because I watched him do it and I couldn't understand, I couldn't explain. I was like, Ed, when you're teaching people, when you're speaking, you do this thing. And he called it the preframe, the reframe, and the postframe. And what that means is before he shares a concept, he really gets the person bought into wanting to learn about it. And he does it in a way that's just natural for him, but he taught me how he does it, where he makes it almost feel like I've got a secret and I'm about to tell you what it is. And you've not heard this before anywhere else. And it has shaped my life in the most powerful ways. And once you hear it, you won't be able to unhear it. And except like, if you listen to his podcast, ass. Watch him do this. It's just natural to him. So that's the preframe. And then the reframe is, what about the thing I'm about to teach that I believe is misunderstood about that concept? And then the postframe is kind of like reselling them. Like, that is— this will change your life and you got to go do this thing. So it sounds interesting because I'm very clinical when I coach, because I'm an operator, I'm a CEO. I like build companies and exit them and like So when it came to, you know, trying to communicate, you know, with a broader audience, not just, you know, 9-figure CEOs that were tuned in, but with, you know, at-risk youth and everybody along that journey, I wanted to learn his communications, like his philosophies around communication that most people don't ever talk about. So that was a huge area. And then the other one, which is, is, um, may or may not be the topic of his next book, but it's the, it's the expressing the genius or the Jesus or the giftedness in the other person, right? Essentially doing what Brian did to me when I was 17, sitting me down, looking at me, and telling me what he saw. And you'll see him do this if you listen to his podcast, Ed. It is so beautiful to watch because he does it to me. He literally, like, I'm sitting there, and then when you say, like, what's been the biggest impact for me as a coach is having him speak into me my greatness. And I'm not a slouch, I'm operating at a very high level. But when he tells me, Dan, you have the potential to be the top 5 person in this space, I'm— any— and he's very specific about how he shares that and what he says. And he's like, you know, and it's, it's so supportive that it's just the most beautiful thing. But I see him do this with every one of his guests. You'll see it right at the beginning. He'll, he'll say like, hey, I just got to take a second to tell you this. I interviewed him on my podcast. Anybody can go on YouTube and search Ed Mylett, Dan Martell. And he started off by doing it right at the beginning. But again, it's not, it's not by like, he's not sitting there with a checklist. It is just who he is. It's his personality. And I remember the last coaching call I did with him. I said, Ed, I, I'd love for you to kind of unpack how you think about it. And he shared this beautiful story of a person that he saw from across the way, and he watched this man with his daughter. Okay, so he goes, the only way you can do this is to be aware. Most people are not aware of their environment, right? Because they're in their head, they're, they're open loops, they're trying to close, or they're on their phone, they're not paying attention. He's so aware that he watched this man interact with his daughter and just thought to himself, I, I think, like, the way he is, because he has his daughter Bella, and he was just sharing this story. So when the man eventually got introduced to him, Ed just said, hey, I just need you to know, I saw you earlier with your daughter. I got to tell you, she is lucky to have you as a father. This guy was a billionaire, and, and most people would have— nobody says that to him, you know what I mean? Because most of them don't see that interaction. They're always in a business context. And Ed said, like, when I shared that with him, I saw his heart open. And lean in. And I'm like, man, I love what I do on the business side. I love the wealth I create for people and, and the results I get. But I think that's one of the coolest skills for me to explore, to really amplify. So I mean, if, if I did nothing other than get those two gifts from him on how to communicate and really get people enrolled in my ideas and show up and let people feel seen, heard, and appreciated, and, and truly their giftedness, their Jesus inside them, man, I I think that's like, that has and will shape my life.

That's so powerful. All right. Quick, quick, quick, quick here. Cause I know we're running out of time. What's your last piece of advice for everybody who wants to maximize their time and maximize their life?

I think it's just, you know, I do this exercise with my, my private coaching clients where I kind of walk them through, like, imagine you only had 5 years left to to live. And that's kind of how I plan my life. I just think it's a long enough time to get stuff done, not too short of a time to do anything irrational. And just to see— and then it just resets every year. So at the end of December, I plan in 5 years. I go, if I was the only 5 years I had left to live in my life, what would I want to do? And, and it kind of creates a forcing function for you to give yourself permission to do stuff. But then, then you go, okay, what if I only had 1 year left to live? What would I want to do at that time? What if I only had 2 weeks left to live? What would I do at that time, right? What if you only had 2 weeks left to live, you couldn't tell anybody, what would you do at that time? And for most people, and I know this is where I got to, it, it allowed me to, to— I was very clear, if I had 2 weeks left to live, I would grab everybody in my immediate family and all the cousins and, and my kids, obviously, and we'd get under one massive house or boutique hotel or small town in the middle of the mountains or something, and I would spend the 2 weeks just just pouring into them, right? I would, I would talk to them, I would, I would share with them. I'd want to create these, these core memories of Uncle Dan, my dad Dan, my husband Dan, my brother. You know what I mean? Like, really just be there and try to kind of have our souls kind of exchange just that energetic presence, knowing that— and I couldn't tell anybody— that we'd move on. And what I invite people to consider, and this is what I would love everybody to consider listening to this, is what if you took whatever comes to mind for 2 weeks? If you only had 2 weeks to live and you couldn't tell anybody, what would you do at that time? What if you took the next 2 years and tried to recreate that scenario? Give yourself 2 years, whatever it is. It may not be as grand as you envision, but if the vision was to get your family together, why don't you organize that? And that's, that's what happened for me a decade ago is I had, I did this exercise. And what I came to realize is that I'd want to get everybody under one roof. So every second— every 2 years in March, we do the Martell side of the family, and every summer, every alternating summer, we do my wife's side of the family. One big house, all the cousins, all the brothers and sisters. We, we, we, you know, and it's just that rhythm just feels so good that I know no matter what I'm doing, how heads down I get in work or whatever, that I've got this opportunity to reconnect every year. And it's something me and my brother support on the— on our side of the family, and I support, you know, my wife and I on the other side. And it's just— I think, I think death is, is a beautiful tool to allow you to get rid of the fears, the judgment, the success, the rejection, the failure. Because at the end of the day, we know it's so temporary and insignificant, a lot of stuff that we make huge. That it just has this beautiful effect to allow us to really reflect on what matters most and what we want to do with our time. So that would be my feedback.

It's so good. It's so good. I want to encourage everybody to check out Dan's new book. It's called Buy Back Your Time. And if you want to master your time like Dan has done, and if you're in that situation right now where you got some of these limiting beliefs, you need a breakthrough, I want to encourage you, check out Dan's new book. And also, hey, if you're watching here on YouTube Hey, let us know what your biggest takeaway was from the wisdom Dan shared with us today. Just leave that in the comment section. And, you know, I always keep these comments in mind because we may do a future episode or have Dan back again to hear even more of his wisdom. And I want to say thanks, everybody, for watching. Don't forget to subscribe. And Dan, again, thanks so much for coming on today.

It was an honor. Appreciate it.

All right. Thanks, everybody. Have a great week.