Why the Modern World is Wrong About Identity | Mindshift 7

Hey everyone, welcome to the Dr. Josh Axe Show, where each and every week I explore the science and the principles and how to grow in body, mind, spirit, and take your health and life to the next level. On today's episode, we'll be asking the question and answering the question, who are you? Let me ask you this question.

If we— I was to strip away your name, your job title, your achievements and accomplishments in life, and I were to ask you, who are you? Deep down, truly, what would you say? Right. A lot of people don't have an answer, and a lot of us haven't really tapped into our soul, our spirit, what truly makes us us.

By the way, answering this question is one of the most important questions you could ever answer because your identity, who you truly are, impacts every area of your life. It impacts your self-esteem, your self-worth, your confidence. It impacts your life purpose, your beliefs, Everything. And so we have to figure out who we are. And by the way, we are having an identity crisis in the world today.

And this is where we see mental health issues increasing, whether it be depression or anxiety or lacking purpose or feelings of isolation, or people even questioning and wondering, what gender am I? These are things that are related to Identity. And if you don't know your identity, it will impact your entire future. Your identity determines your destiny.

And so on today's episode, we'll be diving deep into how to build a rock-solid identity to where— here's the feelings you have after you build a strong identity. You're confident. You have this really immense sense of your self-value and worth. You know that everything you do in life has significance. You're proud of who you are and what you're doing. That's what you're gonna walk away with today.

But most people don't have that. Hey, before we dive into the content though, make sure to subscribe to the channel and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single thing. By the way, when you're subscribed to the channel and watching these episodes, and as this podcast continues to grow, which by the way, it is growing like crazy, but you allow me to bring on higher profile guests.

The reason I was able to bring on people like Carrie Underwood and Dave Ramsey and some of the most amazing leaders on the planet was because so many of you are subscribing and tuning in with the notification bell. So thanks so much for being part of the mission to help me transform this world. Okay, so here's the thing to know about identity. First, it's your source of value.

If you feel like your life has an incredible sense of value and worth, Then you probably have a, a level of a strong identity. If you don't feel like your life has this immense meaning and you're making a big impact, then you have low self-worth and low sense of identity. And so it's really important that you can tap into your identity.

Now I wanna get into, here are some warning signs that you have a weakened identity. Number 1, you're a people pleaser, okay? You're always looking to make everyone around you happy, trying to please people. And the next thing here is you, you're constantly looking for recognition and approval from others, okay?

Um, if that's you, you, you constantly feel like you need approval, you need attention, you don't feel seen, it tends to be a weak identity. Here's an— here's another few signs. Um, you have a lot of self-doubt. You just, you just don't believe you can do it. Here's another one. You have a lot of God doubt. You don't believe that God can do it. Here's another sign of a weak identity.

You have low self-worth, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence. Here's another one. You don't have a clear purpose in life. Here's the last one. You have a victim mentality. You feel like the world's against you. Other people are against you. You blame others. These are all signs of a weak identity.

And if you have any of these happening in your life, or if any of these describe you, Then you're not living a full life. We all want to get to the end of our life and say, you know what, I live the best life possible. Now, when it comes to identity, here's the reality. Our identity is tied to 3 things. So here's how you build a strong identity, or what your identity is connected to.

Your identity comes from your sense of value. So, and by the way, who gets to say you're valuable? Have you ever thought about that? Who gets to say you're actually valuable? But here's where they come from. 3 Things. Your identity is related to your community. Okay? Your identity is not this solo thing. Your identity comes as part of a community of others. Okay?

So for instance, part of my identity is I'm a son. I'm also a father. I'm also a husband. So those are part of the things there. So number one, your identity comes from your community. So it's based on your relationships. To other people and to God. So that's number one. Then the second part of your identity is related to your roles within that community.

So again, roles I mentioned: husband, father, son, business entrepreneur, doctor. So, right, those are some of the roles that I play. My roles now have certain responsibilities. So as a father, I'm called to provide for my family and my kids. I'm called to help them grow in character, help them find their unique gifts and skills. So that's part of my responsibility as a father.

And that dictates your identity. Now, related to those 3 things, if you have a strong sense of, man, my community, my roles, my responsibilities, they matter, they mean something, they're turning this earth into a heavenly place, I'm having a big impact.

If you believe, if you know those 3 things very clearly and you believe that what you're doing is having an immense impact and it's very concrete nature, then you tend to have a strong identity. Okay? And so it's important to recognize that. And by the way, our identity tends to be tied to about 20 different things, which I'm gonna list off some of these here. But here's the reality.

Our identity tends to come from some of these things. Our nationality or race, our gender, our family, our own character, our religion, our political affiliation. Somebody might say, I'm a progressive or I'm a conservative. That could be part of our identity. Their economic status. I'm rich, I'm middle class, or I'm poor. Our career, our sexuality, our achievements in life.

I, I, you know, I was a, I did, I had this achievement in college or high school. Could come from our possessions, right? A lot of times people buy things to strengthen their identity. Like, why does somebody, some people wanna have a Lamborghini or a Porsche or a certain car?

It may be cuz they enjoy driving them, but more often than that, it's because they have a weak identity and they're trying to strengthen their, their sense of just not being confident in themselves and feeling like they're less than. So our possessions are closely tied to our identity. Our health, our community, our talents, you know, our natural giftings.

It's like, well, I'm a really gifted musician or artist. Our, you know, where we're from, our city, our state, our town. All of these are things that greatly impact our identity. And there's something called an identity hierarchy. And so here's something for yourself. If you're going to vote in an election, how do you decide who to vote for? Okay.

This will, this will reveal your identity hierarchy. What's most important to you? Uh, you know, ethics and morality. If somebody's doing something moral, if they're not lying, if they're telling the truth, is that most important to you? Is it somebody's race? Are you voting for race? Are you voting for, um, the character of the candidate?

Are you voting for them based on their religion or faith or based on their, uh, you know, whether they just lean right or left, and that's all that matters. And so it's important to think about how do you vote for those people? And you're, you're voting based on your own identity hierarchy. That's how you vote for what candidate. And so if you're voting for somebody only based on race, right?

Well, that's going to have repercussions, right? Or if you're voting for somebody based solely on even their political affiliation, cuz let's say for instance, here's an example. Let's say you have a candidate. And they have a race that you, that, that you want to get behind and support. Okay.

But they have really, really poor ethics and they do things that really make the world a, a, a worse off place. Did you really make the best— did you have a good identity hierarchy then? No, you didn't. That's a bad identity hierarchy. You had something at the top that actually led to a negative consequence.

But a very similar thing, let's say you have a political affiliation and you said, I'm gonna vote for this person just because they're Republican or just because they're Democrat. But then that person does evil things behind the scenes and, and, and makes the world a worse off place. Well, then you also had an, a not ideal identity hierarchy.

And this is why your identity hierarchy, what should live at the top, it should be based on character and their belief in God and the divine and their ethical moral stances. Those are the most important things for you to have, and that is also the most important thing for you to have.

For your own sense of self, knowing that you're an eternal moral being called to do good in the world and that what you do matters and has an impact, right? And so it's important that you recognize this identity hierarchy. Now, when people establish an identity, there are 3 primary identities people have today.

People tend to have a modern identity, a traditional identity, or building out a divine identity. And I'm gonna break in, break these out, and I'm gonna even get into some movies for examples. For instance, a modern identity is based on a lot of the modern Disney movies. You'll see Frozen's a great example.

A traditional identity, if you have that sort of identity, you'll see that in movies like Braveheart or Saving Private Ryan. A divine identity or traditional identity is also a movie like The Lion King, which also has, actually has a little bit of the The third type of identity here.

The third type of identity is a divine identity, which will be tied more to movies or TV shows like The Chosen or Lord of the Rings or The Chronicles of Narnia, where you'll see these people have a divine identity that's driving them forward in life. And part of it is what drives you? What's your why? Well, your why in life, your purpose, All stems from your identity.

So remember this, Simon Sinek wrote a great book. It's called Start With Why. And that's actually not the first thing to start with. You start with who, and then the second thing you start with is why. Okay? Who, then why is how you should live your life. And so we'll get into that today. Now, one of my favorite psychologists of all time, his name is Carl Jung, and he says this.

The world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you. This is huge. So let me repeat this. The world will ask you who you are. So the world will ask you, what's your identity? Who are you? If you can't answer that right now for yourself, you're a slave. You're a robot. The world will just tell you.

They'll just plug in the information via social media, via traditional media, and you'll just live your life out as a slave because the world will tell you who you are and who you should be versus you proactively seeking out truth to discover that for yourself. So these are some of the most important questions we can answer in life.

So I wanna dive now into a modern identity in terms of, and by the way, you're gonna recognize people like this and you're gonna also know why they function the way they function. Okay? So modern identity. Here is the way that this works. Modern identity is everything is about you and you're at the center of the universe. Okay? That's the modern identity today.

So you're the most important person in the world. Everything's about you. You're the center of the universe. And the starring role in the, in the, in the story is you. It's all about, and it's also all about your feelings. So you'll hear them say, follow your heart or find your truth, right? And whatever tru— when they say find their truth, it's, well, it's find my truth.

I want whatever I believe I wanna believe. Modern identity is all about trying to go around validating your own feelings, and you tend to do that via social trends and celebrities to reinforce whatever your desires are, whether they're good or evil. And you expect everyone to serve your needs and adapt to your desires, your feelings, and your preferences.

The modern movie Frozen, that Disney movie, embodies this in a really strong, strong way. So Elsa sings the song, the most famous song In the movie, it's called Let It Go. And have you ever listened to the lyrics? You know, here's what she says. She says something about being liberated from being a good girl. And then she says, you know, um, there's no right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free.

So she said, I don't wanna be the good girl anymore. Okay? So I don't wanna be good. I'm not good. There's no right, there's no wrong, there's no rules. And so because of that, now I'm free. So with this freedom, what Elsa's doing is she's running away from her responsibilities instead of facing them in following her emotions into isolation. And we see this today.

Look at the statistics of people with isolation and mental health issues, right? So we're, we have an epidemic of loneliness now that's continued to increase. Why is it in— why is it increasing? Well, because a modern identity increasing. People with the identity of the world is all about me. Mm-hmm. Versus another, the, the other forms of identity would be, no, the world isn't about me.

It's about my community and about others, or the world is about God. And so when everything becomes about you and following your emotions, that's what leads to a modern identity. And the modern identity's all about following your feelings and serving yourself. That's, that's what it is. And, and the modern identity, really, there's no objective or absolute truth.

Have you ever noticed anyone like this? And listen, you might be this person, or you might know people like this. You'll see it a lot in younger generations where they are constantly craving recognition and praise. And there's a really high level of entitlement, disrespect of others, and ungratefulness.

Have you noticed that there's a lot of young people, Gen Z and millennials, that have this level of entitlement, disrespect, ungratefulness? Yeah, I'll give you an example. When I first opened my— when I was a practicing clinician running a full-time functional medicine practice, I had my interns come in.

And one of the things I was blown away with, I had interns, believe this or not, that after a few months in the business, I had one of them tell me, hey, I'd like to negotiate a deal with you where I own 50% of the practice. Now, I own 50. They'd been in practice for 3 months. They knew nothing.

In fact, I was doing them a favor just letting them be in there as an intern because they weren't very good. And they felt like I should own, they should own 50% of the business and that I should be paying them high, you know, 6+ figures a year. And I was just blown away. And there was a level of entitlement. They disrespectful towards me and just generally ungrateful.

And all of that comes from the modern identity. When you watch all of the TV shows and songs and all the things that kids are learning today, they are at the center. It's all about they're special. And about everyone catering to their feelings and their needs. Everyone needs to drop everything and just, hey, how are you feeling? Okay, let's, let's go ahead and cater that need.

That mindset, by the way, leads to depression, anxiety, and weak identity. It also leads to cancel culture. Here's what happens if you believe you're at the center of the, center of the universe and somebody doesn't agree with you. Well, just cancel 'em. Hey, you don't agree with me. You're not gonna cater to my needs. You're canceled.

So cancel culture was born out of so many people living in a modern identity. And what it is, it's a bunch of mes. Everybody's an individual. There's really no true sense of community. And here's another thing I wanna mention. It is so opposite of what leads to the world being the best place possible. Cancel culture is the opposite. With cancel culture, there's no redemption.

There's no— Uh, you know, there's no forgiveness. When I look at the Bible and the narrative there, here's the crazy part. Uh, Mo— Moses and David were murderers. Bathsheba was a prostitute. You have so many people in the Bible that did things that were immoral, but God forgave them. And even said about someone like David, Uh, he was a man after my own heart.

Or people like Abraham or Moses, you know, I, he called them a friend. Right? And so all that being said, when you embrace the right type of identity, everything changes. Everything changes. By the way, your anxiety will disappear, your depression will leave. You'll find a purpose when you find your true identity.

Most people aren't finding their true identity because they believe their identity is found within themselves. We're so small and insignificant. We can do significant things, but if, if, if the world is no bigger than us, it's going to lead to a meaning, a meaningless life. Now, this modern identity, by the way, really came from, here, here's, here's how it started. Okay?

It started when we said there is no God. Okay? When people started becoming, saying really there is no God, that's where the modern identity stemmed from. So then, because, because It, it, part of identity is found in how do I find what truth is? So your identity is tied to what is the truth about others and about myself. So if you can answer the question, who is God? Who are others? Who am I?

That will tell you a big part of who your identity is. But when all of a sudden you remove God and say, okay, there is no God, well, well, well then how do you decide what's true? It's reason. It's reasoning and thinking about in your head only what's material. Okay. So we're gonna decide who I am. Okay, so who am I?

Well, I am, if, if there is no spirit, no soul, nothing you could see, reason alone. Okay. I am skin. I'm flesh. I know I'm bones. I know I'm cells. I'm blood. So I'm, I'm a material matter. I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm bones and flesh. So, so that's, so that's who I am. Okay. Well, that doesn't seem to really lead to a very meaningful life. So then people after that didn't satisfy everybody.

Then they went on to something called romanticism, which is following your feelings. So your feelings will lead you to truth. So then people said, okay, in order to find truth, I'm not gonna use reason. I'm going to follow my feelings. So who am I? I'm great. I'm wonderful. I'm perfect. I'm the center of the universe. I'm God.

But then what people started finding was, I thought that was gonna satisfy me and make me feel good about myself. But here's the thing. Your neurological system and your soul and spirit know that's not true. So you're not actually happy. Okay? So, so, so that's what happened. So people still weren't satisfied and still didn't feel like they're living a meaningful life.

So then that led to what most people have now today, which is a level of what's called relativism, which there is no truth. So there is no truth whatsoever. So whatever I believe or you believe or anyone believes, It could all possibly be true, but actually it's just what I believe is true, not what you believe. Okay? Or else I'm gonna cancel you. So here's how this works.

If there is no God, there is no good or evil, which means there is no ethics or morality, which means there is no truth in life. If there's no truth and no right or wrong, well then you don't have any purpose in life. There's no purpose. You have no meaning. If there's no, if nothing's meaningful, Then you have no self-worth. If you're just flesh and blood and that's it, you have no self-worth.

And, and that leads to a weak identity. Does that make sense? So, so many people today, every mental health disorder we have today is due to a weak identity. Every single one. Do you know that mental health disorders are far outpacing over the past 10 years cancer, diabetes, obesity, every other major health issue?

Is growing in a very small way compared to mental health issues such as weak identity, depression, anxiety, bipolar, feelings of isolation and loneliness, suicidal thoughts. All of those things are caused by a weak identity. So if people would embrace what I'm gonna share right now, these next few slides, we would completely cure mental health disorders 100%.

Here's the other thing about mental, about the modern identity, and here's why it doesn't work as well. One, it is so delicate. You know, it is, you know, first off, everything is on you and you're living in a victim mentality. So you're never growing to change or do things big or serve others and transform the world because you're just a victim. The other thing is it's very divisive.

There's billions of me's. It's not all we, okay? It's me, not we. So everybody, it's very divisive. Look at how divisive politics have become. Today. You have Democrats, Republicans. It used to be you could become bipartisan. You could, uh, sort of cross the lines and, and, and make— negotiate on things. Now there's just a level of absolute hate towards one another.

So the modern identity is very divisive. It's also drowning. Think about this. Here's what happens for a lot of women today. The modern identity says you being a big badass boss woman is more important than being a mom. Or you have to do both. So now women today feel like, okay, I have to be a business leader. I also have to be the, the perfect, you know, outsider mom.

I've gotta be the perfect wife. I've got to also be perfectly fit and healthy and go to yoga class and anti-age. So it is drowning. You know, it's saying you have to be everything to everyone and people just cripple. So this is also why it causes mental health issues. If you have to be perfect and you have to be a full-time, which by the way, like we have 2 daughters at home.

My wife, it's a full-time job being a mom. It's a full-time job. In fact, I did a study on this and, and when the data, or there was a study done on this, and when the data came out, it said, Moms, stay-at-home moms, the value of that, if you were to pay someone else to do everything a mom does, it would equate to $190,000 a year in salary.

So nearly $200,000 a year in salary of if you were to pay someone to come in and just be a mom full-time, cuz it's like 90-hour work week and all the things that are done. So all that being said, you think about that, if somebody's called to be a rockstar mom full-time, Especially have young little kids and be a full-time businesswoman. It's absolutely crushing and drowning for so many of them.

The last thing here about the modern identity, it's deceptive. Most people think, well, I'm determining my identity. I'm the one who's deciding that I'm a cat, or I'm the one who's deciding that I'm the badass boss. No, you didn't decide that was meaningful. Social media, traditional media. Some celebrity told you that.

You decided to believe that cuz you thought it would make your life meaningful and you would feel good and it would give you validation, recognition. But yet you don't feel that. You, you, you still feel a level of emptiness. And that's because you don't decide your true identity. God does.

And when you determine and realize this is who God says I am, and you live that out, Then your level of being fulfilled and living out a meaningful life becomes so extraordinary that you walk around every day feeling this immense sense of everything I do matters and has eternal significance.

So the modern identity allows you— there's so many people out there living as slaves and they don't realize they've been programmed to live out a certain way, but they're just letting social media and media and everything else tell them.

Who they're— again, the Carl Jung quote, if the world asks you who you are and you ask your identity and you don't know, it'll tell you, and then you'll just live that out as a slave. Now, the next form of identity is a traditional identity, and this is something that we have seen in older generations, especially baby boomers, the greatest generation.

Gen X is sort of a combination of both these identities, typically, traditionally. And really, the center of the universe is on your tribe or your community. It could be your family, could be the group that you run around with and roll with. That's the center of the universe. Okay? Your community. And it's a step up from the modern identity because it's not all about you.

It's about serving others. It's about, you know, it's about your duty. Really? Again, it positions duty and sacrificing yourself for the good of the community. Okay? So the modern identity is all about the community and everyone around me needs to sacrifice everything for me. A traditional identity says, no, I need to sacrifice myself for my community. And there's so many pros with this right now.

There are a few cons. The con is some people with traditional identity, if they take it too far, it leads to nationalism or tribalism where it's, okay, my group, my core group matters and no one else matters. So this could happen. Think, think about this in the United States.

If we think we're the only people that matters, if you're an American and any other country, anyone else doesn't matter, well, you know, that can lead towards feelings of racism or nationalism or resentment towards other groups. So that can happen in a tradition— traditional identity where you start to feel like you have a superiority complex over— it's my tribe is better than you.

This happens in politics now too with a traditional identity. Conservatives could feel like they're better than, than progressive, or progressives better conservatives. It could be a, a, a, a like a wealthy class feels like they're better than people that have low income, or somebody that has low income looks at somebody at high income and thinks, those wealthy snobs, all of them are evil.

Anyone that has money's evil, right? So, so this can happen in a traditional identity where your community is the only community that matters. And so everyone else doesn't. That's the negative side. But a traditional identity has ma— is, is a much, much superior form of identity. You know, a, Modern identity is like building your house on sand, quicksand. It is absolutely gonna crumble.

It's very unstable cuz there is no truth. It's constantly moving and shifting. Traditional identity, it's like being on soil. You know, it can stand firm over time, but over time the soil can start to erode. The house can get generally somewhat unstable, and it's not as strong of an identity to have.

You know, when you look at the movies that embrace a traditional identity and And really promote that identity. Again, it's Braveheart. What did he do? William Wallace gave his life for the freedom of Scotland and his people, right? He sacrificed himself for his country and his community. Same thing.

Again, we see this in movies where you have somebody sacrifice themself in order to save a country or community. The movie The Lion King, the best Disney movie ever made in terms of its message. Here's what you have. You have Simba, whose father is all about this traditional identity, the circle of life, right?

Serving the community in this way, having your role and your responsibilities as king, embracing those. Simba runs away and he embraces a philosophy of Hakuna Matata. No worries, no responsibilities, no morality, no nothing. Okay? And life's all about him and just enjoying life. And that's it. That's all that matters. And then Nala comes back, the voice of reason in his life, the amazing woman.

And she says, listen, who have you become? You're more than this. And he rejects it for a minute. And then he goes and runs into the spirit of his father, the godlike figure, who then says, remember who you are. You're more than you've become. Remember who you are. Right? And, and so, and there's a divine component of that.

And so you have this amazing thing in The Lion King where then he goes back to Pride Rock. He sacrifices himself, his pleasure, his paradise in order to restore the promised land and create a paradise for everyone. So you see what happens when you embrace more of that traditional identity and the divine identity, which I'll get into next.

Modern identity, you have a paradise for yourself, which really is an illusion. You really will end up in a desert and miserable and with nothing. It's an illusionary paradise for a momentary time. The traditional identity is then you then go and help create a paradise. You serve others for your community. So you create your own paradise in this little area.

Well, the divine identity goes a step further and says, we're going to take the entire world and turn that into a promised land and turn that into a heavenly place and not only serve ourselves like a modern identity, Or not only serve our community like a traditional identity. When you have a divine identity, it says we're gonna serve the world. We're gonna serve our friends.

We're gonna serve our enemies. We're gonna make the entire world a heavenly place. So when it comes to a divine identity, this is the sort of identity I want to embrace. I want my kids to embrace. I want you to embrace, because when you do, your life is filled with so much meaning and significance.

Every day you wake up proud and excited and knowing you have self-confidence, you have self-worth like you've never experienced. A recent Gallup poll found this: 81% of people still believe in God. And so even though the belief in God has decreased over the years in religious attendance, 81% of people still believe in God.

And studies show That when someone's identity is linked to a certain religious belief, they contribute more to society and are more charitable in their giving. So when we talk, typically talk about Jews, Christians, and Muslims, they are more charitable in their giving. They volunteer more with acts of service, and they are more virtuous in their character.

And I believe this was specifically about Jews and Christians. So if If so, listen, should we have more or less religion in this world? We should have more people that have beliefs about God that are dictating their morality.

Because again, if we're just, if you're simply looking at what leads to the best world, well, people believing in God and having a divine identity leads to the best world according to studies. A divine identity answers the question of who you are first by answering Who God is. Okay, so here's the thing. Remember, most of us think our identity is tied to— it's who we are.

No, the most important part of our identity is based on who God is, and who he is dictates who we are. And then that dictates our beliefs, our morals, our values in life. And people who have achieved the greatest good in all of human history have had one thing in common. Their identities were rooted in a relationship with the divine. And so notice I said relationship here.

It wasn't just, it was relationship, and then that fueled their religious activities. Okay? Think about, so think about the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna list some of the biggest world changers of all time. There's so many more than this, but here's a few. Think of Moses.

Uh, King David, Jesus, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo Galilei, Mozart, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, Thomas Edison, Anne Frank, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa. What do they all have in common? They all had a divine identity. Every single one of them, if you go and read their writings or see why they did what they did, is they said because of God.

When Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, somebody said, why do you spend so much time on this little corner? He said, because God will see. So the greatest creators, artists, musicians, politicians, presidents, leaders, innovators of all time had a divine identity.

And so if you want to live your most meaningful life possible, Your identity should not only be tied to just yourself floating in isolation or your community, it should be tied to God. And when you go and read the Bible, what it says about who we are, it says we are children of God.

We're heirs to the throne, and we're called to act as kings and queens in taking this planet and making the entire planet a Garden of Eden. We are called to love God, love people, make Earth a heavenly place, but we are divine beings called to live for eternity. Our lives here on this earth are like a grain of sand on an endless timeline.

And when that is your mindset and you know, okay, I'm a child of a divine being, the most powerful being, you know, that created everything, and you read the Bible and it says exactly who you are, and you embrace that in all of its fullness, your identity becomes so powerful. So powerful. Now I wanna give examples of levels of meaning.

So remember what I said earlier, your identity is tied to your community slash people and God, your roles and your responsibilities. So when you have a lot of meaning attached to those things, that means you're gonna have a strong identity. So first, let's start with community. When you have your sense of community, and let's say one of those people is God.

And that's what you anchor your identity to. It's your biggest anchor. Well, God is the most praiseworthy, powerful person on the planet, and God gave his own Son for you and sacrificed himself for you. That should give you such a sense of a strong identity of your self-worth and value that somebody died for you. In fact, somebody that's way more perfect than you are, they died for you. Wow.

You must be worth, really worth something for somebody to do that. Think about this. If somebody were to go and say, you know what, your life is so meaningful, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give a billion dollars just to be able to spend my life with you. A billion dollars or $100 billion, or I'm gonna give up my dream, my career. I mean, your sense of value should be so, so incredibly high.

And so you have God who did that. And when you recognize that, wow, okay, so, so your community and God, and you understand that level of meaning of yourself. Okay. That's incredible. That really increases your self-worth and your identity. Well, what's the next thing? Your roles. Well, my role is as a son of God to be a servant of all, to love people and make the world a heavenly place.

I'm constantly serving, loving others, making their dreams come true, helping them heal, helping them reach their full potential. That's what I'm called to do. So that's my role. Or as a father, right? How to do that. Let me give you an example of this too. Okay? Here, if somebody has a very weak identity as a father, here's what this might look like. Okay?

As a father, I have no, I, I don't believe in God. I really don't have a strong sense of identity. I impregnate a woman. Okay, I'm a father and then I'm done because it doesn't matter if I'm there or not there. I, I feel like, you know, going and eating at McDonald's and going and surfing all day and just, I'm gonna abandon my family. 'Cause I'm just following my feelings.

I don't feel like showing up for my family right now. There is a modern identity, and that's why fatherlessness is continuing to grow, is due to modern identity, because it's all about my feelings and what I want to do right now. So, so that's a very, very low level of meaning as I'm impregnating a woman. Well, let's take a step up from that.

Let's go to the second tier of identity, which is much more powerful. And this is tied to a traditional identity. A traditional identity is I have a responsibility as a father, and my role as a father Is connected to providing financially for my family, protecting for them, and caring for them. Okay? So I'm protector and provider. That's a big step up.

You're showing up, you're providing, you're protecting. That's, that's a big step up. But there's a whole nother, nother, another level there. So you're providing for your family and your community. Now think about a divine identity. I'm a divine being where God's at the center. I'm not. I'm called to live for eternity and help my kids live for eternity and become the best version of themselves.

So knowing I am made in the image of God, so are my kids. I'm a spiritual being with a divine calling to serve my family at the highest level possible, bringing out the best in their character growth and helping them multiply their talents that will help them impact the future that will ring throughout generations and eternity, right?

So when you are living with a divine identity as a father, I'm saying, okay, I'm not only providing and protecting, I'm empowering. I'm helping my kids become more, more, you know, Christlike, helping them grow to their highest level possible, helping them, them become the next Martin Luther King Jrs., the next Mother Teresas, those sort of people. That are servants of all.

Can you see the difference there? Modern identity, I'm following my feelings, I'll just do whatever I want. Traditional identity, I'm provider and protector. Level 3, I'm an absolute world changer connected to God for eternity, and so are my children, right? So let me ask you, which one of these identities do you have and which one would give your life the most meaning?

And you can tell based on somebody acts what their identity is. Now, some people have a combination. Some people have a combination of, of a modern identity and a little bit of traditional. Some people have a combination of traditional and, and divine. But it's important to understand which one you have, and you really wanna embrace as much of the divine as possible.

I wanna give you an example of how this looked like in someone's actual life. Martin Luther King Jr. His last speech he gave before he was assassinated the next day. Here's what Martin Luther King Jr. said. I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go up to the mountain and I've looked over and I've seen the promised land.

I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people Will get to that promised land. Martin Luther King Jr.'s life was all about God. His identity was really connected to the divine, everything he did. You can see here on this graphic, Martin Luther King Jr., here at the center, his identity was most connected to, you could see his influences.

When you read his biography, here's who he said most impacted his life: Jesus, Moses, Gandhi, Martin Luther, his professors, Benjamin Mays and Howard Thurman, his father, his mother, his wife. Those are the people that had the biggest impact on his life.

And then his identity was connected to being a Christian, a child of God, a doctor of theology, a Black man, a husband and father, a male from Birmingham, Alabama, a civil rights leader, preacher at Ebenezer Church. So these were all the biggest parts of his identity that made MLK function. And it fueled him transforming the world.

And you need to think about this for yourself, is take time, write down your own identity map. What are those things that make you, you? And then rank them in order of importance. You know, at the top of your list, is it child of God? Is it Christian? Is it, you know, is it these certain character qualities or talents you have? What is it for you?

And put those in ranking order and then rank them in what they should be. Rank them where they are now, how you've been living your life. And how they should be in the future. You know, there's a story I love back from 1666, and a great fire destroyed one of the most beautiful cathedrals ever created in London called St. Paul's Cathedral.

And when they were rebuilding this cathedral, the man walked up and there were, there were 3 workers. They were bricklayers that were rebuilding the building. And the person asked them, he said, hey, what are you doing? And he asked the first person and he said, I'm cutting stone. The second person said, I'm earning 3 shillings.

The third person said, I'm helping Sir Christopher Wren build this cathedral. And so, you know, these are tied to identity. When somebody asks, why are you doing something? Okay. Or who are you attaching the highest level of meaning? To why you do what you do is critically important. For instance, if you're a mom right now or a dad watching this, why are you a mom or dad?

What, like, what, what are your roles and responsibilities? Do you believe, well, I'm here to, you know, just protect and provide, which is great, but you also believe you're called to find their greatest giftings and skills, helping them grow in character, become like Christ, and help them change, be a world changer?

Or do you know any parents out there that are, have such a weak sense of identity that they're telling their kids, it's okay if you're a cat, or maybe you're a virus or parasite, and they're treating them like that because they believe that about themselves? What we believe are about our own identity also reflects on what we believe about others.

And so it's so important that we build a strong identity because it affects every single part of our life. Now, I put a chart in here for you so you could see really the differences between these different types of identities. Modern, traditional, divine. You know, for instance, in marriage, a modern identity is, I'm just gonna marry whoever I feel like marrying.

It's all based on my feelings, my lust, my, uh, you know, my, my, my, my physical arousal for this person. And then, hey, once those feelings start to fade away, we'll, we'll just get a divorce. Okay? So that's really a modern identity. There's no commitment. It's not about the community, or maybe we won't get married at all.

So modern identity is about all about how do I feel in relation to marriage? A traditional identity, think about a, um, an arranged marriage, which by the way, I don't know if you've seen these statistics, arranged people that have arranged marriages more often are, are happier than those people that don't have arranged marriages. So just a point there. Okay. But a traditional identity.

Is connected to, I'm going to marry for what's best for the community. And I think that's true because when you do something for the sense of serving others long-term, it's gonna create more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life. Now, a divine identity says this though, it's, it's, it's, it's not, it's not based on feelings. It's not based on what's just best for the community.

A divine identity marriage is based on what's best For the individual listening to feelings, that's fine. They can tell you some things based on what's gonna serve the community, but most on what's gonna serve God.

So marrying somebody, what's not gonna serve the community, but who is the ideal match for this person that's going to help both of these individuals grow in their gifts, their skills, grow closer to God. Iron sharpens iron. That's what a marriage is about in the Bible. Is more about what, you know, what 2 people can have the biggest impact for the kingdom of God and in the world.

And so it's a very big difference in terms of I'm marrying for feelings, I'm marrying for duty, or I'm marrying for, you know, divine impact. And so you can see that this with all of these individual examples of a comparison with these identities. So here's the truth.

No matter how you see yourself now, and no matter what you've done wrong or who your parents were, You can forge a new identity that will be the foundation of who you can become. You know, you can consciously choose where your identity comes from and build your identity on solid ground.

You know, one other thing that happens with identity is oftentimes we, we, we allow our mistakes of the past or even the mistakes of those around us or our parents to dictate and influence our identity. You know, maybe your parents did something wrong or evil, or you have a, a father who's in prison, and because of it, you're ashamed by it.

And you've allowed that to feel like, well, my dad was evil, so maybe that I'm evil. And the reality is those things don't have to impact your identity. Here's the thing to know. You are not your mistakes. You are not your parents' mistakes. You're none of those things. You are who God says you are. And you are unique. You are your unique gifts and skills.

You are your strengths, and you can become a powerful person right now. But again, a lot of people also tie their identity to their medical condition or a mistake from the past. And again, those are not the primary part of your identity, and you shouldn't allow any mistake to be your identity. You should really embrace the identity based on What the Bible, who the Bible says you are.

Here's the thing to look as well in this flowchart. Your identity first is impacted by God's identity. Then that influences your identity, and then your identity influences your purpose, which then influences so many other things in life. Now I wanna go through, here's how to build a rock solid identity. Number 1, consider the limiting beliefs that are robbing you of your divine identity.

And substitute them with unlimited beliefs that embrace who you really are. Okay? Also, you need to determine, are you right now living mostly with a modern identity, a traditional identity, or a divine identity? Be honest with yourself. You can't grow if you don't answer that question in humility.

Determine where you're at and then decide where, where, write down where, what are my incorrect worldviews? And then write down what you should believe instead. Number 2, write an identity statement of who you are based on who you'll become and who God says you are, and then the impact you'll have because of who you are.

So write an identity statement of who you are, who you're gonna become, and the impact you'll have. Next, identify the roles and responsibilities in which you can add the most value. Could be husband or wife, so spouse, could be parent, could be leader, could be friend. Whatever it is, write down that child of God. What does that mean? Saint. Write those things down.

Next, make a list of what you currently are reading, watching, and listening to over the past year. Okay? Write those down. And then write down what you should be reading, watching, and listening to that promotes a divine identity. So have you been watching, you know, shows that have a lot of immoral scenes and those sort of things? And, and that promote the wrong things, then stop watching those.

Now, next thing is follow people on social media who prioritize character, spirituality, and values. For instance, if you're following people that are promoting this level of wokeness and modern identity, unfollow them and instead follow people or, or, or, or just tribalism, the same thing, you know, nationalism.

Follow people like the Sadie Robertsons, the Tim Tebows, the Craig Groeschels, the Jordan Petersons, the John Maxwells. You know, not all these people are perfect, but again, people that really help you learn and grow in life and help you form more of a divine identity in life. Follow those people, unfollow the rest.

Next, incorporate daily habits like Praying, reading your Bible, having a gratitude practice, and just growth practices of, of exposing yourself to growing a divine identity. If you do that, you're gonna become more than you ever thought possible. When you build your identity on solid rock rather than sand or soil, it's gonna lead to a meaningful life. I'm so excited for all of you to do this.

Embrace a divine identity. It's one of, been one of the most impactful parts of my life. By the way, if you've enjoyed me diving deep into identity, then I wanna encourage you, uh, read chapter 7 of my new book, Think This, Not That. In this chapter, it's chapter actually 6 or 7, but in the book I really go deep into even more than I did on this episode, how to build a divine identity.

I also get into purpose. I get into breaking through limiting beliefs and so much more. By the way, this book just hit the New York Times bestseller list. People are raving about it if you look at the reviews on Amazon. And if you haven't read it, you're missing out. In the book, I also talk about how I almost died because of a spinal injury.

And the principles in this book, I literally believe, saved my life. And I believe will not only save your life, or can not only save your life like it did mine, but also take your life to a higher level than you ever thought possible if you read just If you're gonna read one book this year that's gonna transform your life, read this book, Think This, Not That. You can get it on amazon.com.

It's in bookstores nationwide. Again, it was a New York Times bestseller. And hey, when you read it also, hey, leave a review. Would love to hear your thoughts on it, if it impacted your life, the principles in that, as much as it did mine and thousands and thousands of others who have bought the book. And hey, thanks so much, all of you, for your support.

By the way, this podcast is growing like crazy. And it's all because so many of you are subscribed and liking and sharing this. And if you haven't subscribed, make sure to do so. Also share this, share this with somebody who needs to hear this episode. There are so many people who need to strengthen their identity.

For instance, I've shared this with my entire men's group, a church group, a lot of other people because I know it's gonna impact their life in a big way. Hey, thanks so much for watching. Uh, I can't wait to see you on the next episode.