Proven Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

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So if you're a person who's ever dealt with the loss of a loved one, a bad breakup, maybe a business that you really had your heart set on didn't work out, or you lost something else, maybe your health. Well, today I'm going to walk you through how to heal using the wisdom of modern-day science and the Bible as well. Welcome to the Dr. Josh Axe Show. So here's what heartbreak is.

Heartbreak is intense emotional suffering and having great sadness. It can be caused by the end of a close relationship. The death of a loved one or significant losses or disappointments in your life. That could be career-wise, that could be a relationship, it could be physical health or a medical condition that's keeping you from doing what you want to do.

I mean, I can tell you for myself that when I was, uh, I was bedridden for a year about 3 years ago. And so I went from, you know, being able to do triathlons and deadlifting and squatting and running around being really athletic with my young kids, and then not walking for a year, and then years of rehab and feeling like and having thoughts in my own head of, will I ever get back to where I was?

Or, hey, will I ever be able to, you know, go out for a bike ride again, or, you know, play tennis or pickleball, or just run around chasing my daughters and throwing her up in there in the pool? You know, I had those doubts in my mind. And there was a loss there. And I know many people have gone through many more losses than I have. But this is something that's really dear and near to my heart.

And I wanted to do this episode on heartbreak because this has been a season that I came out of walking my family members through as well. And I wanted to share with you some of the heartbreak that I went through. And again, I know many of you have gone through heartbreak that is much, much more severe than I had.

Um, and, uh, also thinking about my family members, my mother-in-law, my mom, and other people who have had intense heartbreak as well. But you know, a little over 3 years ago, I had a spinal infection, was told I may never walk again. And so I had a really lost there, feeling like I had lost my physical health. And that was incredibly hard.

Again, not knowing if I would ever walk normally again, be permanently disabled. And so, I lost my health and that was a big loss. On top of that, around that time, I lost a business that I'd built. I poured my heart and soul into something for 17 years and I felt like I completely lost something in a business. That was hard.

And then on top of it all, and this was the hardest thing of all, I lost my father-in-law who was like my best friend, my mentor, a father figure. He was living with me, and my mother-in-law was living with Chelsea and I and our girls. We were hanging out every day together, every waking moment. He was my best friend, and he passed away about a year and a half ago. And that was incredibly hard.

And then we had 2 dogs we had, and they literally died right after that time as well.

Wow.

And so it's like, I lost my health. I lost my best friend and father-in-law. I lost our 2 dogs. We lost a business. Like there was loss after loss after loss. And you know as well that you also feel the losses of those that you love. Seeing my wife Chelsea lose her dad only at 60 years old, seeing my mother-in-law when she went through, and that was incredibly hard.

And so that was a time just a couple years ago or the past couple years where I've had to walk through How do I heal a broken heart? Because there was such a great sense of loss of my father-in-law Joel not being here. There was such a sense of loss of losing part of my business. There was a loss of losing my health, even if it's for a time.

And so I want to walk you through what I've learned as I've walked through pain and loss via— as I've looked at the scientific literature, and even more so as I've looked at the Bible in terms of how do we heal a broken heart properly? Because one of the things I've discovered is that a lot of times we'll skip steps and we don't mourn properly.

And a lot of people never fully recover and never fully heal from a broken heart. And so that's what I'm going to go through today. And my prayer for you is that this content today and what I'm going to share with you helps heal your broken heart, that you can share this with the other people you love.

If you know somebody that's going through a season of suffering and loss, that it can help heal their heart as well. And here's the first thing to know: heartbreak is not just in your head. It creates a physical and mental stress response and a cascade of things that happen throughout your body.

In fact, brain imaging studies have shown heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain in the anterior cortex of the brain. Cortisol and adrenaline surge, increasing your heart rate and blood pressure over time, and neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin especially can drop down significantly, which can intensify the feelings of loss.

Loss, of depression, of hopelessness that you're feeling as well. Now, one of the greatest forms of loss somebody could ever have is losing their spouse. And that's something I saw, I've seen and experienced with my mother-in-law. And losing a spouse is considered one of the most stressful life events a person can experience. I think really the only greater losses is losing a child.

And this is associated with a significantly increased risk Of morbidity and mortality. Several pathways link bereavement and health, including inflammation and immune dysregulation, genetic and epigenetic changes, gut microbiota changes. All of this was found in a medical journal called The Frontiers in Psychiatry.

And research shows that for most people, the most intense grief lasts about 6 to 12 months, but many continue to feel waves of grief years later. Now, this can be for bereavement. It could also be divorce. It could also be an issue like, again, losing that job that you felt like was that dream job you had, or losing your health.

Typically, the 6 to 12 months is when the grief is the greatest, but you can have waves come and go for years later. You know, psychologists like John Bowlby and Colin Murray found that heartbreak And grief often unfold in 4 major phases. Number 1 is numbness. At first, people feel shock, disbelief, almost like the loss isn't real.

I know my wife and I, when we lost our father-in-law, Chelsea and I, we kept saying like, um, when, for her, it was her dad. We kept feeling like, gosh, I just feel like he's gonna, you know, for, for months later, I mean, really for about 6 months later, we just said, man, I just, I just feel like one day we're gonna wake up and he's still here.

Like, like he's going to walk down the steps and, and we're going to see him, you know, like almost like he's been gone on a trip. And there's that numbness there, almost like— and this is why, you know, I've seen this happen where sometimes people will question how somebody is processing the loss.

And unless you've actually lost a spouse or a child, you're the only people that can actually completely, completely resonate with this. But I've actually seen this with, with people questioning people who are celebrities or well-known figures when they've lost their spouse, and people are saying, well, why aren't they crying more? And why aren't they completely broken?

How are they even able to talk? I think part of what happens there is, one, there can be a level of numbness that somebody experiences. But also, and this is what I'll get to later, for people that are people of faith, there is a level of being filled with the Holy Spirit, and there's a hope of knowing That there's eternity.

And if your spouse lived a life that was to be commended and they left behind a great legacy and you know they're with Jesus, well, that sort of changes and shifts the way that you see loss. When we had my father-in-law's funeral, everyone didn't wear black.

Some people did, but there was a lot that— we sung praise and worship music and we honored the life he lived and we took joy and had a sense of peace and hope knowing that he was with Jesus in heaven. And that if this life is like a speck of sand on an eternal timeline, we know that we'll be reunited. And so I think that's another thing.

If you've ever questioned somebody who has lost somebody, and I saw this, by the way, I mean, some of the comments I've seen about someone like Erica Kirk and why isn't she mourning more? Well, one, in this stage of grief, oftentimes there's a great level of numbness that you feel, but also There's the filling of the Holy Spirit. There's a sense of joy and hope in knowing what the future holds.

So the first thing people feel when they feel heartbreak oftentimes is a sense of numbness. The second thing is a yearning. Okay? In this yearning, I think yearning is almost too soft of a word. It is this deep sense of what if that can sometimes just wrench your heart.

And again, just thinking through and replaying the memories and what if, and if things could have been different, and what if we could have done something different to have helped change that future outcome, right?

But again, I think there's a sense of— and we experienced this, I know, and my mother-in-law even to a greater degree— this anger, this guilt, this what-ifs that we've replayed over and over and over. But again, this is the most heart-wrenching phase for most people because the numbness gone, is gone. And then now you're truly feeling the sense of hurt and loss and replaying the past.

Now, the 3rd step is this, according to psychologists, it's disorganization and despair. As reality now has fully set in, emotions like sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness can take over. Okay? And this is where in yearning, there's a sense of loss and it's heart-wrenching. But this disorganization and despair phase typically lasts longer.

And this is again where you have this, you're kind of now sitting in it, the sadness, the loneliness, and then oftentimes the hopelessness. And then the 4th stage is this reorganization. Eventually the pain softens, acceptance grows, and life slowly finds a new rhythm. Okay?

One of the things I've heard family members who have had, who have lost somebody is oftentimes they'll say things like, like, like, like we had our entire future mapped out. And so you have all these hopes and all these dreams for things in the future.

And I know we had this too, because Chelsea and I, we spent our— I mean, every vacation, every trip, everything we did was with my in-laws, Chelsea's parents, everything. And our daughters, our daughter Arwen in particular, like she knew her grandparents so well, loved— I mean, you know, I had an amazing grandpa. And so when there was that loss, there was a sense of losing our future.

We felt like we had lost our future. Everything we'd planned, everything, you know, we had this trip to Europe planned. We were all going, it was already paid for, I mean, the whole thing. And again, there was such a loss there.

And I think there was also a loss for us knowing not only did we lose something, But our kids and also our nieces and nephews, they are losing a 10 out of 10 grandfather who was so high in character and Christlike in nature, like losing that.

If any of you had a great-grandpa, I had a great-grandpa, lived to be 96, taught me how to fish, taught me how to work hard, I mean a number of things, and taught me a lot about the Lord and how to grow in character and how to be a man.

And so for me, having that throughout my whole life, really up until I was almost, really almost 40, having that, that was so important to me to know that my kids won't have that. So I say all that to say this, is that there is so much heartbreak and there's so much complexity to the number of losses and things you can lose if you lose a loved one.

And the reality is it's incredibly hard, but with Christ, as we'll go through, you can get through it and God can use all things. For good. And so what you have to do is you have to take this future now that's lost, and you have to recreate a new future, a new vision, new goals for the future, and remap that out in your mind. And that takes time, but we need to do it with a heart of hope.

I think this is something the Bible calls us to, is to fix our eyes on Jesus and to focus on heaven and have an eternal focus and focus on the good. Now, it's important to know, as it talks about in the Bible, that Jesus wept. He wept. This is for Lazarus, who he raised from the dead, you know, moments later. But he wept.

And, you know, and if you want to know how to support somebody who is going through heartbreak and loss, one of the greatest things you can do is just be there. Just be there. Just show up and be there. You know, one of the things that was the most meaningful to me Was when I lost my father-in-law was that we had people flying in from out of town.

Like I had a friend of mine, Dan Sullivan, who didn't— he didn't need to come, but he came. He flew in when he had all kinds of other things going on. And a really close friend of mine, Ryan Cole, and his brothers and family, they flew in. Like I had people fly in that I didn't expect to.

And them just being there, not even what they said, but just the fact that they were there and I knew they were there. Gave me such a level of encouragement. I think it's also important to know that these stages of grief, and again, this could be for losing a loved one. It can also be for divorce.

This is important for if you've lost a business, if you've lost a pet, if you've lost, if you've had any big loss in your life, if you lost your health, it's important to know that these stages aren't rigid and people can move back and forth between them or feel several at once as healing is rarely linear. This same process could happen for people. Here's an example.

You were diagnosed with Lyme disease or mold, and you're very ill and you're very sick and you feel like you don't know if you'll ever get out of it. That's what you might feel like, that I don't know if I'll ever heal. And there can be this sense of over time of just sort of depression and fatigue and loss.

Maybe you had a back injury and now it's like every time you do anything, you've got a low back problem or a knee issue or shoulder issue. You're wondering, will I ever snow ski again? Can I go out and play tennis? Can I go out and do this thing I love to do right now? Listen, all of us have a choice when we have loss.

We can focus on the hope in the future, or we could focus on the pain of the past. You know, research shows that people with recent partner loss have up to a 66% increased risk of mortality in the first 6 months. Okay. So, so that, that is, that is incredibly high. Okay. And that's because that heartbreak can be so severe.

This is actually called the window effect, as it's often seen in those who lose their spouses. And so if you have someone else who's greatly suffering or there's a loss, if you don't focus on the hope in the future and taking care of yourself, your risk of mortality goes up dramatically. Now, in addition, heartbreak of any kind increases your risk of health issues.

In fact, if you're going through heartbreak right now, you have higher levels of inflammation, higher C-reactive protein. This is seen in people after relationship losses. Heart disease and stroke due to increased stress hormones and damaged blood vessels, depression and anxiety due to loss of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin regulation.

Also weakened immunity since high cortisol suppresses immune defenses and grief lowers natural killer cell activity, which are part of your first line of immune defense. Now, this is also why when I have cancer patients, one of the things I always have them do is do gratitude practices and spend time singing praise and worship songs and do everything they can to build joy in their life.

In fact, I'll share this. When my mom had her cancer diagnosis, one of the things we had her do was when she would watch a show, it was only comedies. Literally, it was the only thing she ever watched on TV if she was going to watch TV, was comedy movies, because she needed to laugh. She needed to have joy in her life. That was important. It's important for healing. It's important for immunity.

In extreme cases, heartbreak can trigger takotsubo. Cardiomyopathy, also called broken heart syndrome. Now, this is a temporary heart condition where the left ventricle of the heart weakens and actually balloons out, which can increase the risk of a heart attack.

Studies show that about 2% of patients initially diagnosed with this suspect they're having a heart attack when it's actually this broken heart syndrome. And it's much more common in women due to them having typically higher and lower levels of emotional fluctuations. 88% Of people with broken heart syndrome are females after a sudden loss or by experiencing intense grieving.

Now, not everyone experiences heartbreak in the same way or recovers at the same pace. For some people, the pain is sharp but fades with time. For others, grief lingers and even affects their long-term health.

Factors that explain why some people bounce back, why others struggle, include, according to this study, a large study in the Health Psychology Journal, found that people with strong social support networks recover faster from grief and have protection against mental disorders. Some studies show they have 40% lower levels of prolonged depressive symptoms compared to those who felt isolated.

And this really lines up with this Harvard study on longevity to where the single greatest factor in you having a long life is your social support. Do you have close friends, close family, people who love you? And also, are you open to letting them love you and support you in your healing. Being open to it as well, that's important, right?

Because if you're going to hug somebody, both people have to open their arms and embrace. In addition, there's coping strategies like exercise, journaling, or prayer. These have been linked to reduced stress hormone levels and faster emotional recovery.

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If you want to check it out and grab one before they're gone, just go to mybloodwork.com now. Now, here's one of the biggest reasons why people don't recover from trauma as quickly than others. If you have, again, lost a loved one, lost a business, lost your health, if there's been any loss or heartbreak.

If you've had past trauma, such as adverse childhood experiences, could be verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or just great poverty or loss, some sort of extreme adverse childhood experience, those people have a harder time with healing from trauma.

So people with unresolved childhood trauma, or prior losses often find heartbreak more overwhelming because it reactivates those old wounds, right? It's one thing to have one injury, but what if you have an injury and then you have 2 other injuries you've had in the past on top of it, right? Your chance of healing and recovery is more difficult.

And so what happens also in life when you've had this early adversity, you can also sometimes create limiting beliefs with this because it might be like, well, you had childhood trauma, And then you had more trauma, more trauma, then you have this more recent trauma. And so you might just start to have this feeling of trauma is the way of life. Like bad things happen to you, you are a victim.

And so you can start to get in this sort of victim mentality. And when you live in a victim mentality, you are focusing on the negative, you're focusing on the loss, you're not focusing on the positive, you're not focusing on the future. And that makes you physically ill and slows recovery.

Now, some of the most prominent examples of early life adversity that make heartbreak worse can include parental divorce or separation. So if you grew up with— in a divorced home or a single-parent home, that's an example. Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Neglect such as lack of food, safety, or emotional care. Loss of a parent through death.

Growing up with a parent who struggled with addiction or a personality disorder. Exposure to domestic violence, living in poverty or unstable housing, chronic illness. You know, one study found— it was actually called the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study— and they found that 2/3 of participants had at least one adverse childhood experience.

And experiencing 4 or more hard childhood experiences increased your risk of depression by 460% and your risk of suicide by 2,000% compared to those people who didn't have those hard childhood experiences. And this is why I feel so adamantly about encouraging my patients and others to heal past trauma and go back and look at past childhood trauma.

Because if you still have that today, it is greatly impacting your physical health. Again, what most people do is they just sweep it under the rug and act like it never happened, but it festers there. It's like this. It's literally a toxin. I mean, imagine a terrible toxin and you're drinking it or you're exposing yourself to it every single day.

It's radiation every single day, glyphosate and pesticides, mold, Lyme disease. This sort of childhood trauma, if it's never dealt with properly and you've swept it under, it literally is festering and creating disease just like a toxin would. It is literally toxic to your body. And so what you have to do is you need to take that trauma.

You need to bring it up into awareness and you need to be able to work through healing from it. Now, the way that I did this in my past, any trauma that I had, is I sat down with a man that was much older than me and I went through and I confessed all of my sins and I brought it up and I talked about it. I actually talked about it with somebody. I said, you know what?

This really bothered me that this happened and this happened. And then I went through a practice of forgiving the person. I had asked for forgiveness where I needed forgiveness. I did all of these things and I said, Jesus, listen, I pray that you will now heal my heart from the pain I've caused others, from the pain from the people that hurt me, and I receive your healing.

You know, and so, but actually doing something about it. And I think there's this element of one, journaling and bringing up yourself, thinking about what are those thoughts that still bother you today? Where do you have guilt? Where do you have shame? Where do you have hurt? Where do you have unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment towards someone else?

Think about those things or bring up there's a loss there. And then working through with a professional, ideally, it could be a Christian counselor or something like that. And then letting Jesus heal your heart and then moving forward. And then oftentimes using how you've been healed to help heal others can be powerful as well.

But it's just important to recognize that Oftentimes people think, well, I've had this hurt or this loss. And if I simply act like it never happened, it'll go away. But the reality is it's there. It's like a cancer growing in your body. In fact, high ACE scores have been linked to higher risk, much higher risk of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and premature death.

So it's important that if you've had past trauma, that you go and you focus on it. Most people don't because it hurts. Bringing back and dealing with that stuff, it's uncomfortable. It hurts. Oftentimes we don't want to forgive people, but it's so critical for healing. Now, I want to walk you through in the scientific literature what it says in terms of some proven ways to deal with heartbreak.

And studies show that most people experience significant improvement in heartbreak distress with the right mindset after 3 to 6 months. But lingering symptoms can last longer, again, if the right things are not addressed. And the tools below can often help. Number 1, Writing and expressive journaling. Again, you need to get it out. You can't just stuff it down. We need to bring it up.

This is step number 1. Now, here's a study on people that experience really hard breakups. In the study, participants who wrote about their breakup for 20 minutes a day had reduced depressive symptoms after 3 weeks. Writing about the challenging situation also helps us form meaning, which assists in recovery. So again, it could be a heartbreak in terms of a breakup.

Write about that challenging situation. Write about your loss. Write about what you're dealing with. Just write down all your thoughts about the hardness of what you're going through. This is biblical as well. Look at King David and his writings in the Psalms. I mean, talk about somebody who practiced expressive journaling. I mean, he's pouring his heart out to God, and you can do that.

Write down, God, why did you let this happen? God, I don't know what my future looks like. God, please help. I hurt so badly. Right? Pouring out your heart before him. But again, studies have shown whether you're writing to God or just expressing it in writing, it can help you heal a broken heart. The second point is reframing and cognitive strategy. So reframing things, okay?

Because here's what I think a lot of times people feel. Let's talk about just a breakup first. A breakup, you might start thinking about, well, Oh, this person was great because of this, this, and this. Why didn't this let this happen? You know, there's a, there's a great Garth Brooks song, and one of the lines is, one of God's greatest gifts is unanswered prayers.

Right.

Have you ever looked back and thought about— I think about this in life. I prayed for certain things in my life, and now I look back and I'm like, God, thank you for not answering that prayer. Right. I think in a similar way. So there's this sort of reframing sometimes where sometimes you feel like, oh, this person was perfect for me.

And then when you're going through a breakup and then you find your spouse later on and you realize, oh wow, you know, I'm so grateful that God led me to this person, right? I think a lot of us have experienced that.

And of course, you know, with something like with losing a loved one, I mean, you know, I think reframing is more something like this where it's like you can feel like Your life's over and your future is crushed and you've lost your best friend and you can focus on those things. But I think there's also this— and by the way, you should mourn in that for a period of time.

But then there's a period of reframing and thinking, you know what, God has called me to live my best life possible while I'm here on this earth, and I'm going to do everything I can to run my best race possible. And reframing is saying, you know what, it's not true that my future is over. It's not true. I'm going to have amazing experiences. I'm going to have great relationships.

I'm going to honor God with my life, right? And also focus on the eternity and focus on— and I think this is one of the things I think that I notice between when I go to the funeral of a family that is really strongly Christian versus not, is there's this sort of hope that's there when you lose a loved one. Because if you believe that This life is all there is. And when you die, it's over.

That's very depressing. Okay. But for me, in my house, we know that I'll see my father-in-law and my uncle and my grandfather and my grandmother and all of these people that I've loved that I've lost. I'll see them again one day in heaven. And knowing that fills me with a sense of hope and joy and encouragement in knowing that reality. And that helps heal a broken heart.

But reframing that— and that's one of the greatest things about the Bible, if you just sit down and read the Bible, is it helps you reframe your perspective. So much of life, so much of success, so much of us being the best we can be is changing the way we view things. Again, I could be in— you could be in the room with, you know, 2 people can be in the room and see radically different things.

One person could be looking at all the flaws and all things that are wrong, and another person could be sitting there Seeing that one beautiful thing in the room, and it could give them encouragement, right? So again, if you're a person that's a pessimist, if you're a person that is negative constantly, you're not helping anybody. You're hurting yourself, you're hurting others.

Versus if you can reframe— and the Bible talks about faith, hope, and love, right? And focusing on those things, it's a great way to reframe and give yourself hope for the future and heal a broken heart. Now, the next thing that's been proven in science is social support. So building these deep, meaningful friendships, this is so important.

And if you don't have that, go try and get plugged in at a church. But a lot of times, listen, you need to pursue these relationships yourself. I think that's one of the hard things. But I know a lot of times that people have had heartbreak and loss, they have gone to support groups.

Again, oftentimes churches are a great place to find this, but where you can really get connected to people that have maybe gone through the same things that you've gone through. And that can be incredibly helpful for starting and building that social connection and community. Now, a few other things that can be supportive as you go through any type of loss health-wise can be exercise.

This improves mood through endorphins being released, also boosts dopamine and norepinephrine, which supports focus and emotional balance. A meta-analysis found that aerobic exercise reduces depressive symptoms as effectively as antidepressant drugs. Exercise, just as effective, no side effects, and also doesn't only help depression, helps every medical condition that you can think of.

Antidepressants increase risk of suicide, all kinds of negative side effects, hard to get off of. The choice is obvious there. But again, exercise has been shown to be good for healing a broken heart. Studies suggest also yoga for stress relief. Weightlifting is great for boosting confidence and motivation.

Even light aerobics like walking in nature has been shown in clinical studies to support overcoming depression. And then mindfulness and meditation has been shown to lower cortisol and help regulate emotions. In fact, an 8-week mindfulness program improved emotional resilience and grieving in individuals.

Now, I wanna walk you through some very encouraging scriptures that can help you better deal with a broken heart. And these are things that I'm writing down personally. These are verses that I meditated on as I went through and focusing on healing the broken heart that I had over this past season. And the first Bible verse I wanna encourage you to meditate on is this, John 16:33.

This is what Jesus says. I have told you these things So that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. Jesus tells us, you're going to have trouble in this life. There's going to be loss. There's going to be trials. There's going to be challenges. You're going to deal with some stuff. But take heart, I have overcome the world.

Take heart, there's salvation. There's eternity in him, a life in heaven, a life of perfection, being reunited with your loved ones. So, so meditating on that, knowing Jesus made it through it, even harder things than we did, and we can make it through as well. So Jesus acknowledges that pain and heartbreak are a part of life, yet reassures us that his victory secures our peace and hope.

Second Bible verse is this, Psalms 34:18. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. And saves those who are crushed in spirit. When your heart aches, you can know that God draws near to you in your suffering.

I really experienced this in this loss of crying and being at a sense of loss with losing my father-in-law and my own health and, and all the other losses that we had in this past season of the past couple years. I felt and knew the Lord was near me. It's because it says in his word, he is near the brokenhearted.

And one thing I always pray for people when they're going through a hard time, and I pray myself as well, is I say, God, would you send your Holy Spirit and wrap your loving arms around that person? And I say, would they just feel your presence, that your arms would be wrapped around them like a blanket, that they would feel the comfort of the Comforter? And that's my prayer for you.

If you're going through a sense of going through a time of heartbreak and loss and praying and asking that the Holy Spirit would come in you and pray and ask for that yourself, or pray that for that person that's suffering in your life. But again, this is a good reminder, Psalms 34:18, that God is close to those that are the brokenhearted.

Isaiah 61:6 says this, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted. To proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.

Now, this is also a good reminder to those who are suffering with addiction, to those who feel like they are maybe stuck somewhere in life and there's a sense of loss because they're— or depression or loneliness because they don't feel like they're going anywhere as well. Now, this is also a prophecy about Jesus' mission to heal the brokenhearted and bring freedom to those weighed down by sorrow.

But it's very specific here. It even uses the word brokenhearted. Jesus was sent to bind up the brokenhearted. And so I encourage you, let Jesus heal your heart. There's a great book I love by Philip Yancey, and it's called The Jesus That I Never Knew.

And I want to encourage you to get that book if you don't know who Jesus is, or if you have a broken heart and you want to know how to experience him. Again, Philip Yancey, The Jesus That I Never Knew. You can get it on amazon.com, and it's a great book to check out as you're focusing on healing.

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Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. And so Christ says, listen, and right now, a lot of times when there's a loss, there's also this sense of like a heavy burden on you.

By the way, I experienced this with my loved ones who, when they went through a sense of loss, like my mom, lost her brother and both her parents here. And her brother was really young, like late 50s. And that was her best friend, her only sibling. And so I walked with her through this. But really, 3 years ago this happened.

And, and one of the things that was so heavy for my mom was she just lost a brother and then she lost her parents. And then all of the things she had to go through legally, you know, financially and all of those same things, there's a heaviness there. And Jesus says, hey, give it to him. Now, here's the thing I want to remind somebody of, though. You have to give it to him.

You have to give him the burden. Oftentimes we just keep carrying it ourselves. You know, one thing that I always want people to do when they're suffering around me is I want to help carry the burden. If you have a good community around you of good people, they should want to help you carry the burden, and you should ask them to for a period of time. Right.

So a lot of times people like my wife is like this, by the way. She doesn't want to put anybody out. And so she just will take it all upon herself versus saying, you know what, I know that it's biblical.

One thing to think about as we sort of reframe this perspective is if you're going through something hard in life, if by keeping it to yourself and not allowing someone else to carry the burden with you, you're robbing that person of an opportunity. To be like Christ and to do a good work and to help you. Okay? And you're even losing an opportunity to grow closer to that person.

So there's this metaphor of this person that is in the middle of a flood, and they climb all the way off onto the rooftop, and they say, God, would you please save me? And a few minutes later, somebody comes along with a boat, and he says, hey, jump in. And he said, hey, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for God to save me. He said he would save me. And the Boat driver went off.

And then a helicopter comes a few minutes later, and the helicopter says, get in, I'm here to rescue you. And he says, no, listen, I'm waiting for God to save me. And the person drowns, and they get up to heaven, and they said, God, why didn't you save me? And he said, listen, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter, you know, what more do you want?

So again, you know, I found that One, you've got to pray and ask for it. God, will you heal me? God, will you help me? And then you need to be on the lookout and ready for the things that he's doing, okay, in order to heal and unload that burden you're experiencing. Psalms 147:3 says this: he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds, right? Very, very similar. We know he is our healer.

And so, and part of the way that I did this, like when I had my back issue and I had the sense of losing my health completely. I would just sit there and pray and know and say, God, I would say, by your stripes I am healed.

And I would just reflect on the fact that God said he would heal me, and I would visualize and see my entire self healing and myself running again, myself swimming again, myself throwing my daughters in the air again. I would see that, and I would see Jesus dying for me and his blood and blood being spilled, his body broken. I'd even take communion sometimes.

And accept that healing happening in my body. Romans 8:28 says this, and we know that in all things God works for good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. This is really hard for some people, but I'm gonna encourage you with this.

When I was going through my back issues, when I was going through the loss of my father-in-law, I'll give you examples of this with my back. I said, okay, How can I use this for good? How can I show my daughters how to bear my suffering nobly? How, when you're going through hard times, how we should act. Okay, when we're going through hard times, what do we do? We pray. We ask for help.

We stay in a state of thankfulness and praise and gratitude. And so there's that. And also I asked God, I said, as I go through this, would you refine me? Would you help me grow spiritually? Would you help me grow more mentally strong? And so I had asked God to use these different areas of my suffering for good. And we know James talks about that.

He says, take joy, brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops perseverance and character, and that gives you hope. So he says this in his word. And then I even thought about this, and this was the hardest thing. I tried to think about, okay, I lost my best friend. I lost my father-in-law. Like, how could that ever be used for good?

And I just really tried to think about, you know what, I kept trying to think about how, like, my father-in-law had a greater servant's heart than I had. And so I kept thinking, you know what, I am going to try and have a more servant's heart like he had. I am going to try and be that person who is constantly in every way possible, every moment looking, how can I serve?

And so, again, you know, really meditating and thinking on how can God— now, of course, and I saw this with my mom experiencing cancer, that was such a hard time, but thinking, God, how can this be used for good? And it was used for good. God can use all things for good. Final verse here I want to encourage you with to help heal a broken heart.

Revelation 21:4 says this: And he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. And we know A few verses later, it talks about that we will live in heaven, that he's gone to prepare a place for us in a heavenly city, in a garden city that will be here again on earth.

And knowing that future, that final promise of complete healing and complete perfection with our loved ones one day. And so fixing our eyes on that reality and truth gives us great joy, great encouragement. As we go through heartbreak. Now, I want to get into some more practical physical health things that can then impact our mental and spiritual health. Okay?

Practices like breathwork can be really, really powerful. So that's taking a deep breath in, holding for a couple seconds, and breathing out. But focusing on your breath actually gets you into a parasympathetic state. Which allows your body to heal, gets you out of this sort of fight or flight state that can be so stressful and so damaging to your body.

Another critically important part of healing a broken heart and your body is sleep. Okay? Sleep is critical. One night of sleep deprivation reduces emotional regulation by up to 60% in the amygdala in the brain. Sleep deprivation can also exacerbate preexisting conditions such as anger, depression, anxiety, And can even lead to fatigue, poor decision-making. And so sleep is very, very important.

So do everything you can to prioritize good sleep. Nutrition also matters. You know, a diet rich in healthy fats, protein, vegetables, nuts and seeds, wild-caught fish is linked to a 30% lower risk of depression. Here's another big one. Music therapy. This has been proven to improve mood and decrease rumination. So rumination, these kind of recycling negative thoughts in your brain.

For example, in older people with dementia, music can trigger memories, improve socialization, and improve quality of life. So again, this is where for me, singing Christian praise and worship music and just having that on repeat and really thinking about the words, really singing those words out can be so incredibly healing. Volunteering and acts of service, helping others.

Reduces loneliness, increases oxytocin, which can help heal social pain. You know, when I was in junior high, I read a book called The Hiding Place. It was about Corrie ten Boom, who was a Christian woman who helped save many, many Jews during the Holocaust. And it's an amazing book. I actually went back and read it when I was going through my spinal issues. This is about 2 and a half years ago.

I went and relistened to the book and I was blown away. So she was put in herself. She was put in a concentration camp. So was her father. So was her best friend, who was her sister, and many of her other loved ones. They were all thrown in a concentration camp. And she was the only one that survived. Her dad died, her sister died, and she later was released.

And she went on to forgive all of these people that killed her family members, who tortured her, and she went on to have a ministry for many, many years later. And this was acts of service, really. She focused on, I want to help other people heal their pain and spreading the message of Jesus. Really, it's an amazing book.

Again, it's called The Hiding Place, which I'd encourage you to read, by Corrie ten Boom. And there's another great book that you could read in companion. By the way, these are pretty short books. Another great book is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Reading those 2 books, I would encourage all of you to read those books as well.

They're incredibly healing, I think, in us thinking about how can we go through suffering and then use our gifts to help others. Now, there are also some supplements that have been shown clinically to improve our overall health, but specifically for our brain. And for symptoms such as depression. One of my favorites is ashwagandha.

Now, there is a type of ashwagandha called KSM-66 that can help lower cortisol and support resilience and overall support depressive symptoms. Rhodiola rosea is another one that's good for fatigue and depressive symptoms.

Omega-3 fatty acids, doing about 1,000 to 2,000 milligrams of EPA and DHA daily from something like a fish oil, Or cod liver oil can be really, really great, especially when combined with vitamin D. Another herb I love, I was recently on Dr. Daniel Amen's podcast, we talked about this one a little bit. This is also referenced in the Bible, saffron.

Clinical studies show saffron can work as effectively as SSRIs for mild to moderate depression. It's been shown to lower anxiety and depression, help with mood regulation. Focus, and it has no side effects. So saffron is wonderful as well. And then magnesium creates relaxation, is great for your body's stress response. L-theanine is another good one.

But those are some of the best when it comes to healing a broken heart. And what I would encourage you to do if you're dealing with a broken heart— maybe you lost a spouse, maybe you went through a bad breakup, maybe it was a divorce, maybe you've dealt with a health issue, or just have a sense of a lot of loss in your life, or maybe past childhood trauma.

I want to encourage you to spend some time after this show and think about what is it that you can do and really make it a priority. Go back and deal with the childhood trauma. Take those Bible verses and start meditating on them every day.

Maybe just, hey, right when you wake up, maybe you print them out and you tape them to your bathroom mirror and you say them every single morning for a period of time. Okay? Maybe when you're brushing your teeth every morning before You want right when you wake up and before you go to bed at night, you just, you say those Bible verses. That would be powerful.

Reading a couple of those books I recommended, taking a few of the supplements, but doing that together, putting together a protocol for yourself for healing, and then also working with a counselor to work through these things. I think somebody that has the right perspective of faith and hope and that Christian faith, finding somebody that's really good in that. Is important as well.

You know, a broken heart can feel— it can feel unbearable. But the thing you need to know is it's not permanent. Your body and brain are wired to heal, especially when you have the right support of community and the right foods and the right practices. And you don't have to numb the pain. You can transform it and it can be used for good. God can transform it and use it for good.

And so, I want to encourage you, take one small step today. Go for a walk, try and connect with a friend, try journaling, improve your diet, get more of those omega-3s in your diet. Do some of those things to start to heal a broken heart and know that I'm praying for your complete healing and restoration.

I want to say thanks so much for tuning in here to the Dr. Josh Axe Show, where each and every week we're diving deep into the science and principles of how you can heal physically, mentally, and spiritually. Hey, make sure to subscribe. By the way, it's number one thing you can do to support the show.

You know, we've had some of the shows who, who, who that don't necessarily pop in your feed because they're shadow banned, because we talk about a lot of controversial things on the show, especially when we talk about things like cancer or, you know, a lot of what's going on in the government or big pharmaceutical companies. A lot of times those get shadow banned.

So if you subscribe though, they'll always show up in your feed and you can know and watch them. Also make sure to like and share. So many people have been through so much loss and they don't really know how to navigate and help heal themselves naturally. So I hope this can be encouraging to them. So thank you, all of you who are on mission with me, who are sharing this as well.

I'll see you on the next episode.

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